#i think its because normally i post about it before i change my theme and such

[nightingale-prompts]

Deathday Party

Part of this post series > link

Tim had no idea he was being courted by Danny and was making his way to an official engagement at this rate. What he did know was that Danny had invited him to an important party at the mansion of none other then Vlad Masters.

Danny had mentioned that his family and Masters had a rocky past but it had gotten better before he left for university. Tim wasn't convinced due to the stories Danny had offhandly mentioned. The guy had tried to out Danny to his parents and rallied the town against him. So excuse Tim for not wanting Danny to go back to a homophobic town like that and a bastard who did something so petty just because a kid's mom wouldn't sleep with you.

But Danny was his friend. The only normal friend he had who treated him like this. Sure he really likes giving gifts and has a fascination for flowers but that's all the more reason to look after him. It was pure luck that Tim befriended him before a cult did.

Tim was still going to supportive and still needed to make it up to Danny for not visiting Amity Park last time. So he packed and boarded the plane a few days before the party.

Danny began introducing Tim to everyone in his family. For the most part, it was a warm welcome. Danny's dad told him that they would have to sleep in separate rooms because "He knows how boys could be and there will be no funny business."

Tim was indignant but reminded himself to be polite. Danny's dad may not be the most accepting of LGBT people but this was his home.

Danny only blushed and brushed his dad off, after all, he and Tim hadn't even kissed yet.

Danny's friends were cool though. Sam was definitely the source of Danny's gothic tendencies. She and Danny discussed herbs, crystals, and graveyards together while Tim got to know Tucker.

The next day they went to the Masters' estate and Tim met Danny's other family. Dani or Elle was Danny's little sister or cousin or something. It was confusing but she immediately took a liking to Tim.

"Ooo, he's cute~ You dont mind sharing right Danny?" She teased linking arms with Tim.

"Knock it off Elle. He's too old for you anyway and if Vlad heard you he'd set Tim on fire." Danny admonished her pulling her off by the hoodie.

Tim didn't catch that Danny was being completely serious about the fire part.

Vlad Masters would be out of the house until the party that night but the mansion was being set up for the event. Apparently, the "Deathday" party was a bigger deal than Tim thought. The guest list was a mile long.

From what Tim gathered a death day was a celebration of life after a near-death experience. Like if someone flatlined during surgery and are brought back. Its actually a pretty smart way to deal with trauma by making the event a reason to celebrate.

Tim had heard from Danny of the day he was electrocuted and that it changed his life. He definitely had the scar to prove it. Danny had gotten a UV tattoo over it or something because it glowed faintly at night. It was pretty cool.

That evening Tim was handed his costume for the event. The party had a royal theme, something that didn't seem like Danny's idea. Still, Danny's silver and ivy green dublette looked...pretty good. Tim dressed in a similar red and gold suit.

"You look good." Danny pulled out an ornate emerald cravat pin and pinned it to Tim label.

"You too," Tim said without thinking but Danny smiled before going back to putting the finishing touches on their outfits.

It was...intimate to say the least as Danny pulled back Tim's hair. He fastened their capes and a (fake) dagger to his belt.

Danny put put on a subtle layer of makeup. Darkening his eyes, cheeks, and lips. It gave him a pale and deathly appearance.

"I have to look my best. I don't want anyone to think I'm just using you as arm candy." Danny laughed.

"That implies that you are using me as that already." Tim jested but stopped when Danny pointed to the makeup trey. "You're joking."

"Im not. It's an important event and this isn't Gotham. There are alot of people i want you to meet. Just play along." Danny begged.

Tim agreed letting Danny put on a bit of black and red makeup.

"Aww, Tim. You look absolutely ghastly. Your funeral ready." Danny gushed as he turned to grab the last things they needed. Two circlets with stars emblems embedded in them.

Tim laughed internally. Danny was always to positive Tim forgot just how goth he was. Tim knew he shouldn't be surpised.

Tim and Danny walked to the mansion's ballroom which was full of guests dressed similarly to them. The room glowed eerily under green-flamed torches. Very gothic. On second thought this suited Danny.

A staff member er...servant announced their arrival.

"His Highness the High Prince of the realm of infinite space and his guest."

None other than Vlad Masters approached. He had thrown this party for his godson and wanted everything perfect. He eyed Tim critically before speaking to Danny.

"Daniel I heard about your...friend from Elle. Its that what he is?" Masters studied.

"He's my-"

"Boyfriend! I'm his boyfriend." Tim interrupted. He was not going to let this homophonic piece of shit undermine Danny's sexuality again and try to embarrass him. Especially on such an I'm day. " Tim Drake, son of Bruce Wayne and head of Wayne Industries. I've heard a LOT about you Mr.Masters."

After a moment Vlad nodded and smiled.

"You've chosen well. He's quite the catch my boy. Happy Death Day." Vlad patted Danny on the back before going to mingle with Danny's parents who where tearing up the cheese platter.

Danny blinked owlishly at Tim. Tim had never used that word yet, Danny thought they were not at that stage yet.

"Sorry Danny, i got caught up." Tim sighed.

"You know he's going to tell everyone right?" Danny laughed "I hope you're ready."

Danny dragged Tim to meet his ghost friends for the rest of the evening between dancing and eating.

Tim had fun meeting Danny's fellow goth friends who complimented him a lot. They were definitely strange but they really loved Danny. The whole party was like a Renaissance festival meets one of those novels that Jason loved. Actually, Jason would be so jealous of him right now. Tim made sure to take pictures. Some of them came out fuzzy but it was enough to make Jason mad.

[juicieste]

Its so wild to me people call others who are against that stuff "antis" like grow up people are rightfully disgusted and want to keep a distance from people who make that junk, it's so weird how oppressed those type of people act or how overly defensive some of them get if anyone shares an opinion 《 like not even directly talking to them 》 of being grossed out at something gross, they always act philosophical and go on and on how morals is a social contract it's such an eyeroll

I totally agree with you.

I think both sides should ignore each other as long as they don't hurt/harass anyone or support this kind of content. (By saying support I mean when people victimize these actions in real life.)

Like I've said, I have nothing against this , as long as it's not sexualized and justified, but written with lots of emotions and showing that it's not anything good or positive, it's fine. Bad things happen in our life and we shouldn't censor it. This kind of thing helps a lot of people deal with trauma, for example. And it's not entirely healthy, but these people feel like they're not alone. Like they're included and what happened to them, matters.

I do feel grossed out and I think it's intended to provoke such a reaction. Like a shock.

People should read WELL WRITTEN books with these kinds of stories to understand that these things are not okay.

Also, (I'll change the subject a bit (sorry))

Porn shouldn't exist, or at least not on this scale. Just go to any site and you're shown a theme of forcing another person into sex. There is NEVER the word rape under these videos. People censor it. They treat it as a normal thing. We know it's just acting, but it's always sexualized and this is the biggest reason why sexual assaults occur. That is the reason why there are so many horrible cases of sexual violence. Young people become addicted, they treat their partners like toys, they have no respect for others or for themselves, they don't even know anatomy of their lover's body, they don't use contraception, they become aggressive... This is all caused by porn and lack of education.

You could say these cases happened before porn was invented... As I said, lack of education. People don't educate their kids because they're embarrassed. Sex was always portrayed as some kind of "taboo topic". They grew up with this mindset and are scared to talk about it. Sometimes it is also caused by their religion. Children should be taught that when they say no, they mean no. And shouldn't feel bad for being assertive.

In short,

Such themes should cause disgust, sadness and even anger. And not everyone wants/has to see it. REMEMBER Your feelings and boundaries are important. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

We should prevent such situations from happening in real life.

1. By educating young people.

2. Portraying these themes correctly.

3. Instead of mocking the victims, listening to their stories.

4. Reminding everyone that love is NEVER about force.

5. Offering help/support. It has happened more than once that someone you know was in a toxic relationship.

6. Talking about your feelings

7. Understanding people's boundaries...

Really there is a lot we can do.

Just so you know, I don't intend to change the world with this post. I'm just sharing my thoughts. You don't need to agree with it.

ANYWAY, I APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING SO MUCH ANON. FORGIVE ME 😭

[moonshynecybin]

do you have any motogp fic recs?

yeah sure man. im gonna keep it simple (ao3 only) because i am a capricious bookmarker and refuse to wade through the weeds of tumblr fic as im not a natural tagger. no order just vibes. all of these i love and reread !

cant change that, cant change you by kingsquarding

Marc at the ranch for the (second) first time.

this fic is the platonic ideal of marc and vale post reconciliation being TOGETHER and at the RANCH and trying to make it WORK but they are also. still being a little messed up. themes include: guilt. injury. marc trying to get vale to stop treating him like glass and FUCK HIM already because he doesnt want to admit that their relationship/his body has changed since he was twenty. delicious.

Che Spettacolo! by serve_cunt

“What do you think,” Vale says, and leans against the doorframe. “Will he come?” Uccio stays silent. Of course he will come, he wants to say. In what world does he stay away? In what world can he resist?

sending uccio to the cuck chair. outside POV rosquez always hits for me becuase they match each other's freak in so many ways its fun to see what antics they engage in as obsevered by someone more normal. in this case. uccio. also helps get around vale's shit ass communication because its him through the eyes of someone who KNOWS that vale is being WEIRD. even if marc doesnt. fun and SEXY. academic au by the same author ALSO slays

of crashing and burning (and falling for you) by Anonymous

It has always been Marc and Valentino, Valentino and Marc. Two rivals inseparable on- and off-track throughout their careers, their story so closely intertwined they might as well have been the same person, dominating their beloved sport between the two of them. Then Marc breaks his arm, Vale loses their championship, and they are left trying to pick up the pieces. AKA a rosquez same age AU.

someone wrote out. elle and i's same age au. and it was so perfect i legit struggle to answer asks about this au now because im just like. its in the AU !!! its all here !!! really nails vale in this specific scenario imo... all the love and resentment and self-imposed walls and. my favorite of all. the exact way these guys talk in press conferences. like their exact diction. hits the spot beautifulperfect

arms out like an angel by yekoc

“Does Marc still work here?” he asks. He can’t think of the word for performing. “I dunno, man,” the guy says. “Sorry, I’m new.” Vale blinks at him. “Find out,” he says, and then, annoyed at himself for the impatience, “if you can. I came a long way.”

the efficiency of word choice in terms of characterization in this one really moves me... every line has implications !!! sexy ones even !!! and theres so much baseline CHEMISTRY and inability to really STAY AWAY from each other but also. a tense little undercurrent of slight misunderstanding and hurt that makes it stand out... i also just love fics where marc pushes back just a lil and vale has to like. figure out what to do with that. in a horny way. yekoc's bezzcele also goes crazy if you wanna think about nipple piercings as much as i do

All I Wanted by agnst-crrnt

The first time it happens is just after Marc’s 10th birthday. He’s about to complain to his parents about how Álex always finishes the milk and then puts it back into the fridge, when the faces of his parents’ blur in front of him. Marc closes his eyes, trying to make it better and grabs onto the edge of the table. He can hear his mama ask him if he’s okay, before everything stops. or Rosquez Time Travel Au, where Marc randomly gets teleported through time, always ending up somewhere around Vale

hey thats my friend. rosquez time travel au as ive said my favorite thing to think about maybe EVER !!! really love the strict marc POV on this one and how you REALLY see the. youre in love so you go. and his just. his ceaseless romanticism and optimism wrt to vale and their relationship that fits this fic concept SO well. guest appearances from pedrenzo as well yayyyyy

i give into the fall series by lestelledreams

Her and Pol were good; they did win a gold at Junior Worlds after all, and that’s not something anyone can just go out there and do. But her and Valentino – they could become great. Mar’s never been more sure of anything in her life. or, The first year of Mar's and Vale's partnership.

genderbend figure skating au where marc gets to have all his weird injury complexes explored AND it gets slutty AND we get to see his freak ass ambition. imagine if motogp was a pairs sport (like actually not just in a fake way) and marc had the option of pairing up with vale. imagine how crazy he would go trying to make that happen adfhdflk

a hundred ninety-nine degrees by hardlythewiser (sequinedfairy)

“You should fuck me again,” Bez says. It trips out, all his defenses worn down by the long, annoying day of meetings, by the feeling of Cele above him, pressing him down into the couch, by Cele’s bright clear gaze. Above him, Cele doesn’t smile with his whole face, scrunching up his eyes, like he did the first time Bez asked. He doesn’t smile at all, just keeps looking at Bez. “Really?” he asks. “I didn’t know – did you like it, last time?”

cele tops lets GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. some fics just. have an ability to pierce directly towards what actually and precisely makes a pairing or a situation or a dynamic SEXY, while also revealing a new facet of said dynamic that i've never thought about in depth before. this is one of those. fuck him!!! make him cry !!!! perfect !!!

i was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy (whose reality i knew was hopeless to be had) by babynflames

In Motegi 2005, Hiroshi Aoyama wins his first race during his home GP, Dani Pedrosa gets second while hiding a fractured humerus and Jorge Lorenzo is handed a one race ban for riding in a irresponsible manner after nearly colliding with Dani and causing de Angelis to abandon the race, leaving the third position to Casey Stoner. The haircutting is incidental.

dyke PEDRENZO. fic that is fun and funny and filled to the BRIM with the kind of homoerotic tension you can only have between two teenage dykes in direct competition who dont even know theyre horny about each other except they REALLY kind of do. also. the best sports rpf to me always engages with a sport on a sociological level... also just love the writing style on this. direct and avoidant at the same time. very dani in sexuality crisis to me aljfdhl

[river-fisher]

The Real Bobby Fulbright and Morality

Hey hey! I am back with yet another analysis post, this time focusing on Fulbright's morality! I often see fanon interpretations of him - that are super fun! - but I also feel like they focus on the positive aspects of his personality and avoid the darker ones, so I will be rambling about that under the cut! Enjoy B)

Before we get into specific examples, it is worth pointing out that this analysis is based off of:

The theory that Dual Destinies didn't originally have the phantom as the main villain.

That the phantom was included later in the story after several chapters were already finished.

The theory that Dual Destinies was going to deal with darker themes before it got altered.

Now, although I have more detailed arguments on why I believe in these points, this post is not about that (Though if anyone wants to hear my thoughts about it, I'd love to yap about that in another post ^^). In a nutshell, Fulbright's behaviour changes in between cases, in a way that suggests that his character was revamped. I believe that Fulbright was originally written without the phantom in mind.

Thus! While his character might've had his purpose shifted, if my belief is correct, then The Monstrous Turnabout - the first case with Fulbright - is the most accurate glimpse into what the real Bobby Fulbright was like. Yes, we are meta analysing it up in this house!

Via the assumption that The Monstrous Turnabout has the original idea for the real Fulbright, we can make some interpretations of what he's like, despite the canon saying it was the phantom impersonating him! ^^

So, onto actual examples (lovingly chosen from my transcript) and analysis!

Starting off strong, we first meet Fulbright with him wanting to arrest Apollo and Athena. Yes, there is the potential reasoning of "disturbing a crime scene", but the lawyers had only just gotten there. They had done nothing wrong. That is unlawful arrest! Them coming to the crime scene had several explanations, and yet Fulbright won't even hear them out:

[???] “Hey, who are you and what are you doing here? This is a crime scene!”

[AJ] “And who are YOU? Are you with the police?”

[???] “I asked first! Who are YOU and what are you doing here?! On second thought... I’m placing you under arrest for disturbing a crime scene!”

He prioritizes lunch over actual, genuine justice here, not even bothering to hear them out. He only changes his tune after finding out that they're lawyers. Even then, he doesn't allow them to investigate. Though that is what all Ace Attorney detectives do, I think the subtle threat that comes afterwards is important.

[AJ] “Ack! Under arrest?! B-B-But...”

[???] “Save it for the boys back at HQ! Now, come quietly or else! I don’t want to be late for lunch!”

Yes, he never pulls out a gun in the series (besides attempting to do so in Turnabout for Tomorrow as the phantom), but I believe that the inherent threat and power that Fulbright holds in this situation is worth mentioning. Apollo's assumption that Fulbright could pull out a gun is also quite telling in my opinion. Fulbright is a cop at the end of the day.

[BF] “Cease and desist at once, or you’ll have to deal with my little friend here!” { Hand goes to his holster }

[AJ] “Ack!” (Yikes! Is he reaching for his...?!)

[BF] “In justice we trust!” { Shows badge }

[AJ] “...!” (Phew, it’s just his badge.)

[BF] “This door simply will not open! We’ve tried and tried, but it won’t budge! It’s an essential part of the culture found in this manor, so we can’t blow it up either!”

The next concerning aspect I've found, is the seemingly normalized use of excessive force. The only reason they're not blowing up the door is because of its cultural significance. That is insane! It can be argued that it's not Fulbright's decision, however, the lack of reaction from everyone involved signifies to me that this is the norm.

With this moment, I wish to point out Fulbright's black & white thinking. I acknowledge that this is consistent for all detectives in the series, but it is a piece of characterization that is very important - Fulbright is very quick to call Tenma a villain, evil, a fiend. Thinking that someone is guilty and thinking that someone is evil are quite different imo.

[AJ] “So you still think Mayor Tenma is responsible?”

[BF] “That’s right! Damian Tenma is an evil fiend who must be banished from this world! Now, take my hand and together we will defeat this evil!”

[BF] “I won’t fall for that, you shameless rascal! I only help good little boys and girls!”

In general, Fulbright tends to think in an us vs them mentality - the people he likes are good, while the ones he dislikes are bad. He helps good people and puts away bad people. In a sense, yes, that's what a cop is supposed to do.

[BF] “Ha ha! My investigations are as thorough as they are foolproof, or my name isn’t Fulbright! I vow to resign immediately if I ever make a false arrest!”

However, this line paints a grim picture. Fulbright implies that he has never made a false arrest. That is statistically impossible, and implies that he has not only made false arrests before, he has also managed to get them convicted! The fact that the first time we meet him, he tries to arrest us only amplifies this point!

[BF] “What?! Are you questioning my sense of justice?!”

When he is confronted with an argument against his beliefs, he hides behind justice. In a way, he hides behind his badge, the very item that allows him to make the decisions on who is being painted as guilty, and who is not. In fact, he doesn't even question his beliefs.

[BF] “Prosecutor Blackquill! We’ve had enough of your hijinks! The foundation of justice is fair play, and you are in serious violation of that!”

And finally, the so-called 'jolts of justice'. I've seen arguments in the past claiming that the real Bobby Fulbright would never use electrical shocks on Blackquill. I politely disagree. Considering all the previous examples, I think it aligns with his behavioural patterns and is the epitome of his morality.

And thus, I would like to briefly propose my personally crafted theory about Dual Destinies: The game was originally going to delve into darker themes, and Fulbright's corruption was at the center of that.

Yes, Fulbright believes in justice, in good and bad. He has good intentions. But at the end of the day, he is a cop that holds power over others and justifies his wrongdoings with... well, justice. So long as he believes that he is doing the right thing, he is willing to reach for extremes.

I think this is often missed due to Fulbright's comical mess ups and overall cheery and charming demeanour. The characters don't really react to his more... extreme decisions either.

Consider a world where the phantom was not the main twist of the series, but some aspects remained. Such as... The tampering with evidence... Abusing police position to cover up a crime... Framing innocent suspects... It fits into the previously showcased negative traits of his.

Ergo, the real Bobby Fulbright might not be as justice-driven as many may believe. There are many details that tend to get overlooked when it comes to him, especially in fanon. Which is fine and good! It is comforting to think of a policeman that does his job properly. However, I also find this darker side absolutely fascinating and worthy of discussion.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this silly analysis post! Do feel free to argue or ask questions, I love a good debate and I love yapping <3

[kosmical]

alr i'll bite what's isat

Omg thanks for opening pandoras box! You will regret this

In stars and time is the recent food source of my brain eating amoeba and it Will Not Leave. before i get into why im rabid about it though ill give a brief synopsis . putting a read more here because i suspect this post will get LONG.

its a game about a classic rpg party on the last two days of their quest to save the country from The King who is freezing everything, including people, in time. the main character, Siffrin, is the party's rogue who, upon going into the House of Change (the game's dungeon so to speak) and promptly dying, finds out that they're trapped in a time loop. they're the only one who remembers repeating the last two days- aside from a star named loop who helps him try and figure out whats going on, why, and how to break out.

Now personally ive never been invested in a time loop story?? Im not sure if thats because i havent consumed much media thats implemented it before as its main premise or if i just havent been interested but i think in stars and time meshes the two different genres a time loop story can fall into really well (the mystery and the emotional conflict).

The mystery is what drives you through the game (and there are other questions unrelated to the timeloop about siffrin's origin and the world itself that i think handle a variety of themes like loss of culture and personal transformation really well but thats a different tangent) but the emotional parts are what really got me. You have to watch almost in the backseat as Siffrin is like. Slowly depersonalized from the people they care about. All while refusing to tell them anything about their misery because they don't want to burden them or drag them into his suffering. Even happy moments that Siffrin doesnt mind repeating become tainted because it becomes a matter of acting so that the "scene" doesnt stray from its path and his party doesnt become suspicious.

and yet they still DO, both in regards to Siffrin's World Alteringly Terrible Case of the Mondays and the actual time loop. they notice how tired and fake he seems. one of my absolute favorite scenes is one where you interact with a closet and it provokes a conversation about where Siffrin got their cloak from and how long they've had it, because its really one of a kind. it has temperature regulatory magic imbued in the stitches and is made to grow with him. And siffrin just cant fucking remember. not only because hes been looping so long that its created a haze over his mind but because he has no true "identity." and as he's scrambling to fill in an answer for this hole in his head, a gust of wind hits his face because one of their friends, isabeau, flapped his cloak while inspecting it to ground him. and he disguises it by commenting on the thickness of the cloak.

Getting this scene by accident on my playthrough made me feel so many feelings dude like . Siffrin isn't the only one trying to hide things. Their friends care about him so much and they try to disguise how concerned thwy are and its just. Im . Im Normal.

its not just about that though . Like if you start finding shit a little too fast they'll start catching on to whats happening. a little sound effect will play whenever you know something you shouldn't know and the others notice and whenever it happened i was like. Twisting in my seat waiting for them to call me out.

it all builds up into this really fucking painful emotional climax that i will not talk about because i don't want to spoil more than i already have but omg. I was writhing. It was. Hhhggnngh.hfg. Glass shards in ym mouth yummy

On the topic of shit i cant talk about: My favorite character is this fucking thing

I have held off from talking about loop's role in the story because i cant describe to you why they make me so ill. Not because i dont know Why but because it is something you should experience yourself. They're really charming and funny and their dialogue is fantastic. Of course that's part of the reason i lauve them but theres also the underlying secondary mystery of why they're here/who and or what they are/etc. And when u know. Its. I Cant Tell You. BUT ITS REALLY GOOD. ITS REALLY REALLY GOOD. Just know that if you get to the end and are still confused about them. That theres more than the main ending . AND IT IS PROBABLY WHY I AM SO INSANE ABOUT THIS GAME HONESTLY. I LOVE YOU FOREVER LOOP . im ok

In short: In stars and time is a game that is good and you should play it :) Im pretty sure its on sale right now on steam so yeah go get that.

if you made it through this fucking dissertation length post on isat CONGRATULATIONS ! heres some miscellaneous doodles ive done of it in the past month since ive played it love love

[the---hermit]

Babel by R.F. Kuang

I got this book last year, and then procrastinated picking it up for months. I don't know what made me feel intimidated, but I was a bit blocked. And then I decided to finally give it a try. I spent a whole month on it and though my reading was slow I loved this book. I was a bit unsure about the historical fantasy before reading the novel, because I know that as an historian historical fiction doesn't alwasy work for me. But it worked so well, the author did an amazing job and I loved the setting. The fantasy element was so clever and flowed perfectly with the story providing a lot of thought provoking conversations and reflections. It is definitely a dark academia book but to be honest that was not what stayed with me at all. Its themes of language and translation as well as colonialism and racism are at the core of this novel, academia is the setting and it is very much influential but it's not the first thing that will come to my mind when thinking about Babel in the future, and belive me I will be thinking about this book a lot. I really like R.F. Kuang's writing and I will be keeping an eye out for more of her fantasy in the future. I have finished this book over a week ago and I am still unable to for coherent thoughts on it, simply because I have too many thoughts. I truly adored it, the ending was very good, though if I could change something I would have the epilogue moved before the last scene of the last chapter as I think that was a stronger ending. Aside this, my only other negative thought is that the pacing felt a bit weird at times, but it's really not a big deal. I definitely do recommend reading this novel. And I think it could work even for people who don't normally read a lot of fantasy, so don't let intimidate you. I wish this book had been published when I was in high school studying languages I think it would have been even more influential for me at that time of my life. I have also been going insane over the subtitle of the book "the necessity of violence". Talking about it would mean a lot of spoilers so I won't get into deep, but after finishing the novel that in particular really stayed with me and it's been at the core of most of my thoughts about the book. I do wonder why the Italian translation didn't keep it, as the only subtitle in this edition is "an arcane history". This review feels more like a post-reading rant, but this is everything my brain can produce at the moment. Hopefully it was enough to convince a few people to add this novel to their tbr pile.

[tuckboroughdays]

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 ⏖ ’ lotr hdc! DATING pippin's version

🍓 apolline speaks!

so, there is some headcanon about my boy. at the beginning i wanted to do a sfw alphabet, but it quickly annoyed me to order my ideas by themes (affection, cuddles, etc). so i just wrote random hdc.

BUT you can find in this all the themes of a sfw alphabet ! its just chaotic lol.

+ in my head i imagine the reader as a human but its not truly specific, its also for a hobbit!reader too. and i tried to make it the most non-genred as possible.

just remember that english is not my first language !! i do a lot of mistakes but i prefer use my brain than an a.i...

you can reuse my hdc but make sure to tag me ! :D

enjoy this post about my bf :3

he baby

he's so gentle, both emotionally and physically

pookie just needs love and hugs

holding hands !! he loves playing with your fingers.

likes to braid your hair

 loves hot baths with a lot of candles all over the edge, and when you wash his back and hair. hes a fan of massages btw

loves being cuddled by you, and falling asleep in your arms. he doesn't need a specific moment for this, this is why you both can sleep a whole afternoon and being wake up all the night after it.

breakfast to bed !! and he can stay in the bed all the day if youre in too, he would never leave your arms if he could. he loves being in the bed with you the morning, bc your body is all warm from sleep and when he's snuggled against you, its like heaven. 

does nightmares bc of the war of the ring. A LOT. mostly about the time when he had been kidnapped by the orcs with Merry.

he wakes up all sweaty and trembling, frightened of every sound around him. he'll take some shaky breaths into the crook of your neck while you wrap your arms around him and eventually fall asleep.

or if its a really hard nightmare, he'll cry a lot, and thanks god youre here to stay with him. whisper gentle things in hear until he calms down, and after make him a sandwich or a toast of jam, with hot milk, and he will tell you what his nightmare was about. 

he's pretty open about it, and tells you a lot about hard memories that stays in his mind most of the time : the orcs, Moria, the Palantir, and also Minas Tirith, with Denethor burning alive. 

in a more global way, i think Pippin is really open about all his life, talking about everything to everyone, so you might know all about him even before your relationship lmao

you can always see when he's upset : his mood changes completely. he'll tell you whats happening or maybe not, if he's angry (maybe he argued w Merry or smth like that).

but he doesn't get angry a lot. never yelling at you, etc. when he's upset (because of you), he'll pout or being sad rather than angry. you'll also know it if he's not eating or talking as much as usual.

counts a lot on Merry's advices for your relationship, for example if he's scared to do or tell you something. btw im sure Merry will coach him for losing his virginity, if it happens w/ you

loves to be with you, your heads under the covers, and just staring at your face

TOUCH HIS HAIR. he's just craving for it. its better than a foreplay, especially if you run your fingers trough his curls while you're kissing.

doesn't know how to use his tongue when he hisses you, he panick and will slobb on your nose or smth like this lol. so he prefers just made out softly ; its quite more simple and it gives him butterflies

if you have some oversize clothes, like a sweat or a large t-shirt, he'll wear it. and if its not too small-sized for you (human!reader), he'll give you his own shirts sometimes and will be very proud.

loves touching and kissing your skin where its so soft, for example your inner arms or tighs. yeah bc he loves your tighs too

it doesn't matter for him if you are fat or thin. that's the best thing when youre dating a hobbit : the wheight doesn't matter for someone who eats 6 meals/days. if youre thin hell try to make you eat a lot, and if youre not he'll find this totally normal. he loves bellies btw.

things to do to make his heart flutter : kissing his nose, his fingers, hugging him when youre asleep, talking very close to his ear (im sure hobbits ears are sooo sensitive !!!!), running your fingers in his hair, or on his back under his shirt.

some random sensitive spots : his ears, his lower back, his hair. he also has a spot in his neck, veeery sensitive, where you can feel and also see his pulse. (THIS IS CANNON. you can see this in rotk when he talks with Gandalf during the battle of Minas Tirith, and Gandalf says that the journey doesn't end here, etc. i noticed it when i saw the movie on great screen and i was like : KJEFKJHZEFHJHFBJBHJHHFJHJRAHHHHH)

loves body milk which smell like honey, almond, shea butter, or vanilla. so put some of it on you and hell smell you all day.

his fav thing ? slipping his head under what youre wearing and just inhaling your scent. he can sleep like this, layed under your clothes on ur chest or belly.

Pippin wants to marry you as soon as possible and spending the rest of his life by your side, but its not a big new : he sooo idealistic, and a bit delusional. 

btw, this may be some of his defects. this guy is amazing but i think he lacks maturity and can't be realistic for the responsabilites of life sometimes.

also, since he's dating you, he spends all his time by your side ; so he might have abandoned some of his habits like hanging out with Merry, go at parties, etc

LOVES childrens. he would kidnap Sam's or his sister's ones if he could. loves to babysit but not really responsible... but he makes babies laugh and he's an icon for young lads

fav dates spots : in a forest, a midow or a field.

likes rolling in the grass, making flower crowns, doing picnics.

put flowers in his hair

loves being adventurous with you in random places, like in a barn ; he'll pull you in a haystack and kiss you everywhere he can, and will have a lot of straw in hir hair and his cheeks all red at the end. (just make sure to run fast if the barn owner surprises you both)

when he gets jealous, he never shows it obviously or gets angry, but he can be a bit sad. he will impose himself in front of other lads who are trying to fancy you (hobbit!reader), but if its a human who are trying to, (human!reader), hell being a bit insecure, bc he doesn't understand how you can love him, a small hobbit, and not a tall, badass human. so just put a lot of kisses on his cutie face and tell him he's amazing, and he'll be alright.

doesn't know how to cook. he's also veeery messy. sometimes its fun but its also a bit annoying. 

he doesn't act like "you're my wife/husband then to make the dinner and clean the smial" ofc, but because he doesn't know how to do all of this by himself, he needs someone to help him.

so maybe the best option is to learn him how to cook, and romanticing the idea of daily chores. i think that doing this with Pippin could quickly be fun. 

random hugs in any places, any time. he will just jump on you and wrap his arms around you

loves nuzzling his face into the crook of your shoulder or your neck

fav sleep position : your nose in his hair with your arms around him, and him flushed against you

is mostly the one being cuddled

he's the little spoon ofc

and when having sex, mostly missionary or when youre on top. i just can't imagine others. imagining Pippin Took having sex is already too weird, so lets say its all gentle and soft, never doggy position or something like this BRUH-

dy imagine him as a bad boy in a dark romance ?! he's such more the dominated one than the dominant one

he's not selfish or vainglorious. but i think after the war, he liked to tell everyone about his "exploits". and also to staring at himself in a mirror, to see "how strong and tall he becaome". if you catch him, he'll be all red and embarrassed, and won't admit what he was doing.

i aslo think hes a bit insecure about your height difference (human!reader) and jealous of other human guys. 

becomes all red when you compliment him

often brings you flowers, rocks or random things that are just remind him of you. his flowers are not like a wonderful rose bouquet, but rather a crumpled flower that he found really pretty.

if you have some hobbies like yarning, knitting, drawing, he will appears behind you, his head on your shoulder, "what are you doing ? is that for me ?" etc, and will love to distract you in any ways possible

also when you're doing selfcare, like painting your nails (fem!reader), brushing your hair, putting cream on you, or even shaving, he'd like to do it for you

he shows his love and affection toward you by actions rather than words, but can say a random "i love you" in a middle of a conversation (IMAGINE HIM SAYING THIS WITH HIS SCOTTISH ACCENT KJHEBHJZEHBJZHB IM SCREAMING)

your arms = his safe place

will remember every. single. thing. you told him about yourself

always try to be the best for you, even though you're telling him that he's already perfect, it's never enough for him.

[miqo-tales]

Jeuno: The First Walk

Context, references, and random BS about stuff in the first FFXI raid and the quests before and after.

Tossing under a Read More mainly because I talked too much and I don't wanna throw a giant ass post on your dash.

Enjoy!

THE RAID

An interesting thing about music: in the Boyahda Tree and Tu'Lia sections, the music changes to the battle theme when engaging the trash mobs, and then it fades out once they're dead.

Oh, and just to note, given that FFXI and FFXIV have different combat systems and visuals, even if I mention that a boss ability is something from FFXI, understand I don't mean it's the same in regards to visuals or mechanics. I'm mainly just pointing out references.

PRISHE

Prishe is a MNK and a WHM, so she fights hand to hand, but can also use Holy / Light-elemental spells.

Nullifying Dropkick, Auroral Uppercut, and Knuckle Sandwich are unique weaponskills that Prishe uses in FFXI.

Asuran Fists is a Hand-to-Hand weaponskill in FFXI, only useable by MNK and PUP. Learning it required getting to a certain level of H2H skill and then doing a quest. It hits 8 times, and so does this version of it.

Her "You can't stop the flood of mortal existence!" line is something she said in FFXI.

BOYAHDA TREE

Aquarius was a NM crab in FFXI. There was a chance it would spawn instead of one of the normal crab enemies in the Boyahda Tree zone. Oddly, in the raid it uses Hundred Fists, which is the original MNK 2-hour (it made you attack very fast for a short time). In FFXI, this mob was a PLD, not a MNK. But it did have a very high attack speed, so I assume they gave it that ability to simulate that.

(I'm pretty sure Aquarius once spawned and killed me while I was trying to raise my Scythe skill on the crabs in the Tree. A friend came and raised me and helped me kill it for revenge.)

No music plays when you're not fighting something, which fits, because the Boyahda Tree zone in FFXI doesn't have any background music.

FAFNIR

Honestly not much to say about Fafnir. Overall, most of its attacks share names with ones it does in FFXI and are kinda similar. Spike Flail hit everyone in range in FFXI, and Dragon Breath was a frontal cone, for two examples.

One other thing: I didn't know this, but in FFXI there's a stronger version of Fafnir, Nidhogg. Way back, Fafnir used to be a timed spawn, and there was a chance Nidhogg would spawn instead (now they're both spawned by items). So I wonder if maaaaaaaybe there's a chance you go into this raid and it's called Nidhogg instead?

TU'LIA

Technically this is Ru'Aun Gardens. That's the actual name of the zone. But it's on the floating island of Tu'Lia. Players usually just called it "sky".

A note on the ground mentions trying to get to Ve'Lugannon Palace and missing the raid. I think the only thing this can be about is spawning Kirin. A few NMs in the palace dropped items to spawn some NMs that then dropped items used to spawn Kirin.

Another note on the ground is referencing the Ark Angels.

Despot is a NM Doll that dropped an item used to spawn Genbu, which in turn dropped an item used to spawn Kirin.

ARK ANGELS

Man this fight is a banger.

Their lines like "You shall be defeated by the apathy that plagues you…" are directly from FFXI.

AA Galka is a SAM and DRG. His pattern of using Meikyo Shisui and three Great Katana weaponskills is exactly how he behaves in his FFXI fight, right down to which three weaponskills he uses. Also, Dragonfall is a unique weaponskill he had in FFXI.

AA Tarutaru is a BLM and DRK. Guillotine was a four-hit Scythe weaponskill only available to DRKs (it was single target though).

AA Mithra is a BST and THF. In FFXI she'd summon a pet to assist her, but alas, she doesn't do that here. Her Rampage and Cloudsplitter moves are named after Axe weaponskills from FFXI, while Havoc Spiral is her unique weaponskill.

AA Elvaan is a PLD and WHM. Dominion Slash is her unique weaponskill in FFXI. Arrogance Incarnate is also something she used in FFXI, but it's just her own version of another weaponskill available to players, so not really unique.

AA Hume is a WAR and NIN, and man, he does a lot. Cross Reaver is his unique weaponskill in FFXI. Utsusemi was a NIN spell that gave you shadow doubles that absorbed attacks for you. Mighty Strikes is the original WAR 2-hour ability. It made every attack a critical, which is why he then uses Critical Reaver. And he tries to use Mijin Gakure, which was the original NIN 2-hour. You blew yourself up to deal damage based on your HP.

SHADOW LORD

Giga Slash and Implosion are attacks he had in FFXI. Tera Slash is from the Dynamis Lord fight though. Creating clones of himself is also something from the Dynamis Lord version.

OTHER STUFF

ALXAAL

I am 99% sure this is a character from Chains of Promathia called Louverance. That's also not his real name, but we won't go into that right now. Bakool Ja Ja naming him "vagabond" is kinda appropriate.

Honestly, I find it kinda funny they used this character. If you'd asked me to suggest CoP characters that could show up in this storyline, he would not have been on my list.

Also, Alxaal initally thinking he's been captured by the Mamool Ja may be a nod to the Besieged system in Treasures of Aht Urghan. At times, a horde of beastmen (Mamool Ja, Trolls, or Undead) will march on and attack the capital city of Al Zahbi in order to steal the Astral Candescence. Players have to fight them off. Certain NPCs can be captured as well, and players can go rescue them.

ULMIA

An Elvaan female, a very talented singer, and basically the nicest person ever. She lives in the Tavnazian Safehold and is Prishe's best friend. She's more or less "cute girl important to the plot #2" for Chains of Promathia.

THE TAVNAZIA MARQUISATE

Sister city to San d'Oria, located on an archipelago off the west coast of Quon. The opening cutscene of FFXI shows it being attacked by the Beastmen Horde during the Crystal War.

During the Crystal War, San d'Oria leaked false information to the Beastmen to get them to attack Tavnazia. Partially to get some pressure off the kingdom, but also because Tavnazia had a close relationship with the Empire of Aht Urhgan to the east. The hope was that the Empire would join the fight against the Beastmen after Tavnazia was attacked.

But the Empire didn't get involved, and later Tavnazia was destroyed by an explosion. The common belief is that it was an Orc superweapon, like Prishe says, but that's not what actually happened.

LITTLE THINGS

I was confused by Prishe talking about liking tacos until I happened to talk to Alxaal and he mentioned Tavnazian tacos. They're a food item that increases defense. I'd forgotten about them.

Just a little tidbit, the Aldo that Prishe mentions is also from Tavnazia. He's also the little boy in the FFXI opening cutscene.

The Hume Adventurer mentions his gear came from exploring the Alzadaal Undersea Ruins. I suspect that's referring to Salvage missions that you access from that zone. His equipment resembles the Ares set you can get from that.

Heh. This shade in fake Jeuno appears to be "looking for group" or "looking for members". No party finder in FFXI (at least when I played, dunno about now), so you'd frequently see people shouting to find groups or members for leveling or missions.

Teleport taxis! There's another shade with pop-up text mentioning Mea and 1k. The Crag of Mea was one of a few places that you could teleport to via a spell, but only WHMs could cast it. (And there was a unique spell for each place.) So you'd frequently be paying someone to teleport you.

The Auction House in FFXI works differently than the Market Board in FFXIV. The seller sets a mininum price for the item they put up for sale, and pays a fee based on that minimum price. The buyer cannot see this minimum price, and makes a bid. If the bid equals or exceeds the minimum price, the buyer gets the item and the seller receives the amount of gil the buyer bid.

Prishe's last sentence is a reference to the Bazaar, but specifically to how players would avoid the tax that it used to have. The Bazaar is an alternate to the Auction House and lets you sell directly from your inventory. But selling via the Bazaar while in town used to incur a tax, so players would idle just outside Jeuno in Rolanberry Fields. I called it "Rolanberry Market". SQEX eventually removed the tax.

In FFXI, you unlock the ability to use a Support Job, or sub job, at level 18 by doing a quest either in Selbina or Mhaura. Both quests make you collect three items from monsters, but they require different items. What Alxaal is describing here is the Selbina one, which was the easier one to do.

[corrie-zodori]

what's sote? pls rant, go off rabid queen.

SLIDES EVERYTHING OFF THE TABLE AND SLAMS MY HANDS DOWN ON THE DESK I am normal I am okay I am good ahem SOTE Stands for "Spark of the Eye" which is the name of the story I'm currently sinking my teeth into! I am currently still developing it and there's a few things that need changing, solidifying, etc. before I'm ready to start proper work on it BUT I hope to turn it into a webcomic someday!! If you have seen these three dudes, these are the main characters of the story! Sorry for the awkward crops LOL

They have been utterly rotating in my brain for months and the more I develop them and their stories the worse it gets. Please send help (More under the cut!)

It's a project I started I think about 2 years ago now, officially, and it's already been completely overhauled from its original story. I don't wanna spoil it more than I do already with vague art things I make in a "I have many emotions and must get them out of me" stupor BUT it has the following things in it: - Cute fuzzy aliens (and some not so cute and/or fuzzy) - SPACE (and space travel! It's a sci-fi setting!) - Eldritch cosmic horror - Hot villains (Because I can. Might be just a personal opinion :^) ) - LGBTQIA+ (none of the main chars are straight...) - At least one(1) cheeseburger - Size difference shenanigans (one of the main characters is literally 14 feet tall... and the others are quite smol) - And it does have heavier themes of existentialism, trauma, messy relationships, identity, abuse, self reflection and introspection, exploration of healing/coping, and more. So if this isn't your cup of tea, do be aware (when I do get around to making and posting the comic.) The story is not a tragedy, I will say outright. I don't do well with them, most of the time, but it might get heavy at times. I want to do this story justice, but I know it won't ever be perfect, but I'm trying to find a good balance between "I want to bring this to life because its important to ME and its SO self indulgent" and "I want this to be enjoyable for the people who read it too." At the end of the day, I have to trust in myself. Not everyone will like it, and I know it won't be everyone's cup of tea. But I do hope that some people will, and I love working with these characters and their stories and they mean a whole lot to me. ^^ I just want to have a good time and I want other people to as well! Ty for enabling me to gush about them a little bit, even if I have to be a bit vaugue, it means... a TON really, I've been ITCHING for an excuse to talk about them but never know how to break the ice. I've found the best way is to just throw them out into the open like scattered birdseed and see who is curious!! I'd be happy to talk about them more if anyone has any specific questions, if I can answer ofc!

[ihavethedreamies]

From Afar | What the Heart Wants (1)

Qian Kun & Nakamoto Yuta (NCT)

Rating: Suggestive (18+) MDNI

Nothing explicitly is said or done, but sexual interactions are implied.

The beginning of this story has the reader underaged, but nothing happens or is implied to happen before she turns 18.

Word Count: ~14.2k

Pairing(s): Kun x AFAB!Reader x Yuta, the primary pairing is Kun x Reader, but it's kinda both for the first part.

Genre: Reader-Insert, Altered History AU!, Royalty AU!, Plot! (wow), Fluff? (not for sure that's what to call this), not quite smut (yet), Angst (but angry)

!!There are mature themes discussed…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Arranged Marriage (ish), Harems/Multiple Wives (more fiancées…), Bullying (see Caution), Some Swearing, Borderline Misogyny/Sexism (you'll see, not from the boys, just like…society), Favoritism, Love Triangle, Jealousy, Pining, One-Sided Crush/Infatuation (or is it?)

Caution: This story is a bit darker than my normal stuff. There isn't bullying throughout, just one intense scene. It's not in a school setting, but I do want to warn anyone reading this that it could be triggering. I'll be real and admit that there is definitely toxicity here, and I know that's what it is, I try to be realistic with my stuff. There is also a part where the reader has a severe allergic reaction, so if that is something that is hard for you to read, be aware. Please let me know if you think I need to add in any more specific warnings or cautions.

Author's Note: This is based off of a dream I had while I took a nap a bit back. I changed some details because what happened in the dream was a little too unrealistic. But, most of it is pretty much the same. I have a lot of Kun dreams, but most of them I can't write a story with because there are weird cross-overs with my real life and often the video game Mass Effect (lol), so…

P.S. Kun is my Ultimate Bias and so…I held back for so long of going down the rabbit hole because I knew I wouldn't be able to crawl out once I did. I am working on another much longer series so that's why I don't have much posted for him yet since I want to get it mostly done before I post any of it.

P.S.S. The reader has a bad allergy to coconut, which is one I have. So, it might seem a bit extreme with her reaction to it, but I know from personal experience how bad I can be with it. I haven't had the same thing happen though.

I split this into two different parts because I hate reading a long story, and then the app or page somehow gets closed, and then you have to scroll to find your spot… The second part is just smut, literally just the smut part, but it was so long I needed to separate the two parts.

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

Your life seemed to end before it really began. Things like harems for royalty and royalty itself should be in history books and old stories, not modern times. Yet here you were. Historians often talk about how much different the eastern world might look had Japan been successful in taking Korea nearly 100 years prior. Would they have ruled East Asia rather than the Korean Monarchy? Would China be its own country still? Siam? All you knew is that if World War II had gone much differently, you wouldn't be in the situation you were.

In order to keep the commoners and everyday folks of each country of the Korean Empire in line, the Emperor would marry a noblewoman from each land, therefore forming his Harem. When he was a prince, he had his little group of girls that followed him around and did everything with him, almost like some kind of harem anime or even American dating show. One would be picked to be his 'main wife' and the rest were concubines. That's what you were. Well, almost. You were 'in training' to be a possible concubine or wife. The king had five wives, and a son with each woman. The eldest was Taeyong, from the king's first Korean wife; then Prince Yuta, whose mother was Japanese; third born was Prince Kun, from a Chinese mother; second youngest was Prince Ten with a Siamese mother. His birthname was not used very often since most people didn't know how to pronounce it, and finally the youngest Prince was Prince Doyoung. His mother was Korean as well and since he was the youngest, he had the least responsibilities. Not necessarily in a bad way, but he was quite lazy and didn't go out very often. Each prince had a symbol that then was used to name his girls. Taeyong's was a rose and so his girls were The Petals. Yuta's was the Cherry Tree, so his girls were The Sakura. Kun's was a Bear, and his girls were The Ursas. Ten's symbol was a cat and his girls, The Tabbies. Finally, Doyoung's symbol was a rabbit, so his girls were The Bunnies. The name he chose somewhat showed how little he cared for formality. It was too much effort, and he was actually considered the best prince to follow. None of the princes were bad, though, it was simply that Doyoung was the least strict, and there were less rules overall. Taeyong's group was the most prestigious since he was the Crown Prince, and so it was hard to stay in The Petals.

Many different things could make a girl leave or get kicked out. It was pretty easy to get kicked out actually, but most of the time it was by the other girls. Jealousy and competition were rampant, but if sabotage or cheating was ever even just suspected, you were out. Each prince got their initial set at the age of eighteen, and the girls would be at the most two years younger, never older. So, when Prince Yuta hit the proper age, they sent out the search committee. Your father had told you as a little girl that he would never, no matter how much money was offered, let you go. Unfortunately, he didn't get to make the decision because he passed two years prior. Your mother couldn't manage the family estate and business well either, so she remarried, and of course your stepfather was more than willing to hand you over. You never learned how much he was paid, but you knew, to him, it was more than you were worth.

There were always five girls, two from Korea and one from China, Japan, and Siam as well. When you were escorted to the royal palace, you looked up at the tall arch allowing entry onto the grounds. Due to historical preservation laws, no one actively lived in the palace, but there was a modern campus built for the royal family. The guards let the fancy black car you were being escorted in through and it continued down the road past the elegantly preserved palace. Finally, after nearly five minutes of driving, the vehicle stopped in front of what appeared to be an extremely fancy hotel. You were told the main estate was further into the campus and was where the King and Queen lived with the Concubines. Where you were to live was where the princes and all of their entourages lived. Shakily, you got out of the car when it came to a stop, the heels of your black Mary Jane's clicking on the stone pavement. Your suitcases were removed from the trunk, and they went off to your room as you were led down the opposite hallway. Looking around at your surroundings, the building felt less like a royal residence and more of a luxury apartment building, there were even a few restaurants. Finally, after a long walk in very uncomfortable shoes, you were told to enter a large ballroom and you stood in line with what seemed to be twenty other girls. That was a surprise, you thought for sure you had already been chosen. While you wanted to pray you wouldn't be chosen, you also feared being sent back to your stepfather. Your soft yellow and white dress was probably just as expensive as the other girls’ but seemed much plainer. Standing straight, trying to remember your etiquette training, the line of girls all did the same, stiffening when a door on the other side of the ball room entered. At least, you thought it was a ballroom. There was a stage on the opposite wall and that was it. No tables or chairs, nothing. You felt the girls to your left and right turn their heads to try and see who entered, but you just stared ahead. The three people that entered stopped in the middle of the room, a bit to your left since you were toward the end of the line. The other girls were whispering, and curiosity took over and your eyes flicked to look at them. It was a servant, most likely since he was in a butler's outfit, a man in a business suit, and who you assumed to be the prince. He was beautiful, and that was an objective fact. His dark brown hair was longer, hitting his shoulders and he had it tied back into a half-ponytail. He was not dressed like a prince really; he had on a black T-shirt or tank top with a soft-looking grey sweater over it. He was in jeans and sneakers, and you looked down at your dress, then at the others. You were sixteen, but you felt like a little girl then, with your high-collared, long-sleeved white button-up with a yellow sundress over top. Though, it seemed he preferred casual, and you were the closest to that. His stance was casual as well, arms behind his back, leaning his weight on one leg as he lightly swayed, looking over the line of girls. The servant cleared his throat, and it was like some kind of primal instinct took over, and you placed your hands together over your stomach, and bowed low. No one else did. Panic set in when you realized this, hearing the other girls whispering. Now too nervous to stand back up, you pressed your lips together, but stayed bowed.

"It seems she was the only one raised correctly." A new voice, a woman's, cut in and you heard another person walk in. The woman stopped in front of you, and you only saw the bottom of her dress and shoes, she was dressed in the traditional dark green and blue hanbok.

"You may look up, dear." She prompted and you straightened, looking up slightly at the much older woman. Her hair was graying at the roots, but she was still quite beautiful. Her hair was tied back in a bun with a simple wooden pin and you swallowed under her sharp gaze.

"Prince Yuta, please come here." Her tone changed, and she bowed, stepping to the side and you froze as he left his original position and strode over to you. He stopped before you and you dropped your gaze. Don't look at his face. That was clearly something no one else learned and you were a bit worried about that, though, his handmaiden seemed pleased with you. Didn't mean he would be.

"How old are you?" His voice was soft, deeper than you thought it would be.

"Sixteen, your highness." Your hands still rested over each other, flat against your stomach and you tried not to flinch when his finger went to your chin. He lifted your head, but your eyes stayed down, no matter how badly you wanted to look at his face better.

"Look at me." He prompted and you obeyed. He was even more attractive up close, more handsome than you thought, still pretty. He tipped his head and a similarly pretty smile spread on his face.

"Her."

After that, you were quickly whisked away.

"What will happen with the other girls?" You asked the maid that was taking your measurements after you reached some sort of dressing room.

"He will pick the other nine and you will begin training." The same older woman from before entered then and you nodded jerkily, trying to process everything.

"Training?"

"It seems you have begun on etiquette already, unlike the other girls. That will help. Ten girls will start and after your four years the final five will graduate up. You will all learn everything you need to, to be a good woman of the royal family and possibly a future princess."

"I see." The same maid began holding up different swatches of fabric next to your face, flipping through different colors. Seemingly making a decision, the maid nodded to the head handmaiden, and you stepped off the small pedestal you had been set on.

"Let us go child, I will escort you to the dormitory."

 ~*~*~

Over the next four years, as you were told, you trained. Ten girls all lived in a four-bedroom apartment, three in two, and two in two. It was miserable. You really didn't mind the training and tutoring itself, it was the clique-like mentality the girls had even within the dorm. Let alone in the other training groups. You felt like an outlier the whole time but staying quiet and laying low helped. You yourself were not bullied, but you weren't friends with the other girls either. Not in any of the groups. Prince Taeyong's girls were a few months ahead of your group and the other three were not even a year younger. The eldest prince was only about four months older than Yuta, and he was only a month, maybe two, older than Kun. The youngest were each a month after. It seemed the King had gotten to work quickly…

For the first year you almost never saw any of the princes, not even Yuta. It seemed the first year was really used to weed out girls, and that was when some of the original twenty made a return. If one of the ten got kicked out or left, they replaced her. That was not what you expected at all, but it seemed you were relatively safe. You only got one demerit over the first year, and it was minor. The rules were strict and after your first dink you never messed up again. What did you mess up? You forgot to put in your earrings before the morning check.

After the second year, you would have more interactions with Prince Yuta, and sometimes the others. That was when you first met the third-born Prince. Kun. Your eyes widened when you saw him, it was like some kind of rose-colored filter hung around him. He was…perfect. You weren't sure exactly what drew you to him so heavily, but it was nearly backbreaking, the weight of your crush. It didn't help that your infatuation was with the completely wrong prince. Most of the girls were good at staying loyal to their boy, and if they weren't, that was grounds for expulsion. It was your first true hinderance and possible snare. The only one, really. Luckily, he wasn't around too often in the second year. For no reason, really, you hated the girls in his group. They were so incredibly fortunate in your eyes and didn't realize how much so. Was Yuta bad? Not in any way, shape or form. He was extremely sweet and kind, generous…but he wasn't Kun. To you, that was his greatest sin. Your obsession was a bit worrying, honestly. Though the girls were given a therapist they could talk with, she was there for things like homesickness and anxiety. Not near yandere-levels of love for a Prince not their own. Okay…it wasn't that bad, but you feared that if your mind ever got too weak, if you broke, it would be that bad. When third year rolled around… It got so much worse. The princes did a lot of things together and if a girl made it to year three, then she got to as well. On the new year of year three, the girls remaining were the final ones. One could leave, but she wouldn't be replaced. So, what most often happened, is the gaggle of fifty girls would each take turns with which five would go on an outing with their prince. What killed you about those, was when you were picked, and Kun would be there. It was hard to keep your wistful stares off of him and you prayed he would stick near Yuta for as long as possible, so you could look at him all the more. He was what most considered to be the handsome one among the half-brothers. Taeyong was what the girls defined as cute-hot. Could be either. Yuta was handsome-pretty, Ten was just pretty and Doyoung was just cute. Kun was handsome to the rest, but to you he was also the cutest, prettiest, and hottest. He was by no means buff, but he was able to build the most muscle tone out of all of them and you couldn't help but stare when his pants were just the right amount of tight around his thighs. When you finally got close enough to really look at him the first time, you cataloged every little feature you could. Especially the beauty mark under his right eyebrow.

~*~*~

You were truly a goner when you attended a causal tennis game the princes were engaging in. Doyoung sat off the side with his girls, and they were literally playing some kind of board or card game instead. You sat with the four other Sakuras on a bench, not even watching the tennis ball fly between Yuta and Taeyong's rackets. You were staring off into the distance, messing with a stray string at the top of your knee-high socks. If the head handmaid saw it… Wrapping your finger around it tight, you yanked to try and pull it away, the elastic tightening with each tug. You were so preoccupied with your sock that you didn't even hear the warning call, but something thunked against the back of your head. You yelped, falling forward off the bench, managing to catch yourself with your hands, but you scraped your knees up badly on the court-floor.

"Hiyomi!" Yuta immediately called and was at your side. You weren't even sure if you would have known he was calling you if he had said your real name. You hadn't heard it in such a long time.

"Good job!" Ten shouted sarcastically and you heard another come to your side.

"Hey, you okay?" Yuta helped you sit up a bit, letting your rest your forehead on his shoulder as he looked at the back of your head.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." Your body froze when the other person's voice seemed to speak right in your ear and another hand rested on your upper back.

"Does it hurt there?" You hadn't even realized Yuta had pressed on your neck at the base of your head. He must have taken your sudden rigidity as a pain response. Carefully, slightly, you turned your head so you could glance out of the side of your eye, through your hair, at a red shirt. Only one of the princes was in a red shirt that day. You were sure your face turned about that same shade when you realized the other boy so close to you was Kun, and that the hand on your back was his.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta prompted again and you flinched back to reality.

"Uh, no." Your own hand came up to run over your head, wincing as you felt the small bump forming under your hair. The hand left your back and you felt Yuta move your hair so he could see where you pressed. You gasped when Kun's hand came back, his fingers gently running over the bump.

"She should probably go to the infirmary." The younger prince decided, and Yuta hummed in agreement.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." He apologized again, and even though it was your alias, hearing him speak your name twisted your insides around.

"I-It's okay." You were too scared to lift your head as Yuta helped you stand, knowing that if you met Kun's gaze then you would fall back to your knees.

"Come on, sweetheart." Yuta wrapped an arm around you so he could lead you toward the building and you felt the glares of your team boring through you. It was evident even before then that Yuta favored you, and it made the girls mad. You never made more of an effort to woo him like they did, you just lived your life naturally, and that seemed to be what appealed to him.

"I guess the nurse isn't here right now." Yuta had helped you sit on the edge of one of the two cot-like beds and then he kneeled in front of you.

"Do you mind if help with your knees?" He had noticed the scrapes, and you shook your head with a hum, and he left to get the first aid kit. It was then you really felt the pain in your head, but you hadn't even seen stars, so you doubted you had a concussion. The tennis ball hadn't been going that hard, it had bounced on the court before it hit you, slowing it down pretty good. When the prince came back, he cleaned the scrapes and you winced at the sting. He was so gentle and put ointment on as well before the band-aids. As his thumb smoothed over the bandage, he opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse decided to return right then. He went back out to the tennis court as she looked you over and she suggested you rest for a bit, there was no concussion evident, but you did still get hit in the head.

You had managed to drift half-way to sleep, and you somewhat registered hearing the nurse step out, and someone not too long after coming in. It was a different person for sure, they weren't in heels, and you wondered if it was the head handmaid. Flittering your eyes open when you felt them move to your bedside, you jerked in shock.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You tried not to panic, eyes falling quickly to the white logo on his red shirt. You were allowed at that point to look at Yuta's face, but you weren't sure about the other princes. Plus, if you did, you might just explode.

"N-No." You shook your head against the pillow and shuffled under the light blanket. Fuck. You tried not to wince when he kneeled down so he could meet your gaze. He smiled. You were done for.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to let the ball hit you. I tried to go after it, but I'm not very fast." Kun huffed bashfully and you just gaped. Speak! Say something, stupid!

"I-It's okay."

"Can you tell Yuta you're not mad at me? He looked like he wanted to kill me." You knew the look. Yuta was definitely the scariest of the brothers.

"Y-yes." He sighed in relief at that and stood back up.

"I should probably go before you get in trouble for me being in here." He huffed in annoyance and then waved as he left the little infirmary. You were truly and royally, ironically, screwed.

~*~*~

Of course, it got worse through the third and into the fourth year. All the teams had been narrowed down to the final five, the girls that were weeded out were essentially turned into the reserve team. You didn't know what that meant until after you graduated. And you did. You were in the final five for The Sakuras, the little junior harem of Prince Yuta. You were also the forerunner, the informal leader despite being the youngest, but you were the least popular. Out of all twenty-five girls, they all either hated you or didn't care to acknowledge your presence. To them you put in very little effort to get to your rank, well, how you ranked to Yuta. In actuality, you put in the most effort, and had no demerits and never had to make up in any of your training. All of the other maknaes, the youngest, were the favorites of the other girls. Not you. You didn't fit the cutesy, sweet image you were supposed to it seemed. The graduation wasn't going to be until April. Because the princes were so close in age, they decided to just do everyone at the same time, and that just made the internal competition even worse. Though, your favor with the head handmaiden granted you a privilege. Early information. You knew things before anyone else, you were warned. That's how you saw it anyway. It seemed that there would be another year of training after graduation. Everyone was of age by then, which meant the sexual teachings started. It had to wait till you were finally assigned to your prince, since he would head your 'studies'. You were to learn what he liked, how he liked it and so on. It was a rumor by that point, and many girls were unbothered by this. It made sense and they were okay with it since they would be future wives anyway, and some were even looking forward to it. You didn't hate Yuta, not anything close. You did like him, but… You decided then that you had to give up on the younger Prince. You were Yuta's, and that was final. You also learned that the girls that fell through the cracks more or less joined a brothel, modern day gisaeng for the princes and their friends. Not only did the girls graduate in April, so did the princes. And that meant everything changed. You wouldn't say that they turned into scoundrels, but finally they were more-or-less unrestrained, so they let loose. Parties. Drinking. Sex. Lots of it. You never asked about the other princes, not wanting to learn that your beloved prince had fallen into debauchery as well. Their personalities hadn't changed, they weren't abusive or even rude, but they turned into animals. You heard that Ten and his friends had full orgies with his girls and the extras. You knew when Johnny showed up that something utterly filthy was about to go down.

Taeyong seemed to be more restrained, but he was somewhat selfish. He didn't want to share his Petals, but that didn't mean that it wasn't just as naughty what happened in his quarters. Doyoung preferred more low-key engagements, but just because there was only one girl in his bed didn't mean they weren't going at it for hours on end. The only first-hand knowledge you had was with Yuta. Obviously. Honestly, you seemed to be corrupted more and quicker than the other girls. It was one of the few times you felt like you could be yourself, not constantly worried about doing and saying the right things. It was a good outlet as well for all the emotions you pushed down and hid. You were open to most things, mostly because Yuta was by no means selfish. You preferred the more carnal and kinky acts honestly; you weren’t sure you could ‘make love’ to him. The only thing that first gave you pause was when he asked if you would be okay with two of his friends joining. No other girls, just the three guys and you. It was a bit scary at first, and you wondered if your future husband had some sort of fetish, but his reasoning shocked you.

"You let me do whatever I want, Hiyomi. I want to spoil you." He spoke between kisses along your neck, your shoulder exposed from where his shirt had fallen over it. Yuta wasn't that big for a man, but he was bigger than you, his clothes baggy on your body. If you asked him, he probably would be okay with just one wife. And it would be you. You wished it wasn't though. Even with the comparatively few interactions you had over the years with Kun, you had hopelessly fallen for him, and you were content to pine after him in the distance for the rest of your life. That was better than nothing at all.

"W-which friends?" You shivered as his fingers ran over your back under the garment you had on, one finger slipping under the waist band of your lacey panties.

"Jungwoo. Mark?" His arms wrapped around you and pulled you down further into his lap, his hard cock straining against his pants. It seemed the thought alone turned him on. Those two? That was fine. Most of the princes' friends were shared, but Yuta was the closest with the two he offered. It made sense. It was odd at first to think about it, but if you weren’t sleeping with Yuta out of love, then it wouldn’t be too much different with them. And, based off what you knew the other girls did, it was actually relatively mild.

"You don't have to, sweetheart." Yuta nuzzled under your ear, and you sighed.

"That’s fine." It became a somewhat regular occurrence. And, as far as you knew, the other girls were not in a similar arrangement. But they knew, or at least, knew parts. This made them hate you more, they saw it as favor. It was one thing for a prince to indulge himself in three women, it was another for one woman to get ravished by a prince and his two friends. That was the ultimate sign of favor, you were good enough to not just get solo access to Yuta whenever but get the same treatment from his two just-as-attractive friends. The other girls knew, but they didn’t realize it was a common thing, just once in a blue moon. You didn't talk about it, because you knew how the others would be with it, and it honestly made you want Kun more. Somehow. Even with three men only wanting to please you, you wanted more… Not more, just someone else. 

~*~*~

You had a close call though, you almost got found out. There was some big event that the princes were having, some formal party. It wasn't a drunken orgy or anything, almost like some kind of game night with all their friends. All of the girls went as well, it was supposed to be childish fun. You hated it. Not minding cuddling up with Yuta, you hated doing it with all the girls glaring at you. Mostly the other four in your group, because it made his favor toward you all the more obvious. You managed to get through the night, taking the chance to watch Kun without restraint when they decided to start some karaoke. He was the second-best singer after Doyoung, but none of the brothers were slouches. Some of their friends were pretty good themselves, could have been their jobs. It wasn't you ogling him while he sang that gave you away though. And, either fortunately, or horribly, Kun was the one that noticed. The guys were all taking random pictures together, and you stood at the side watching, honestly enjoying the random things they were doing. At some point Kun ended up sitting on the floor, holding up his closest friend, Chenle, so he didn't fall off of Jeno's back where he stood. You covered your mouth and giggled, eyes flicking to Kun as they tried to hold the pose for the picture. His eyes flashed to meet yours and you felt yours grow wide. He smiled, straight at you, and not the sweet one he normally gave at formal events or to diplomats and other public figures. It was a smirk, and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen. You knew your face was once again red as a cherry, you could feel the heat leaving your skin. You quickly avoided his look; hand going to try and cover your face as you slipped away from the crowd and toward the restroom. You splashed cold water on your face, then met your own frazzled gaze in the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths, you moved to leave but heard voices in the hall, so you halted.

"You know that Jingxian girl is a bitch, right?" The voice was familiar, but quieter than you were used to, so you almost didn't recognize it was Chenle.

"That's harsh." Another person replied. Renjun?

"It's true." That was Yangyang.

"Wait, was she the one who threw her soup at that maid while they were in Europe?" Renjun asked.

"Yeah. She also apparently pretty much stole some girl's necklace that she liked when she went to Japan with…I think her name is Eiko?" Chenle replied.

"Kun-ge told me that she had taken some book from one of Yuta's girls and threw it in a fountain. It was signed or something. He made her replace it and she had to pay like a million won." Your arm jerked away from the handle then. Yuta told you a maid had done it on accident…

"Was it the quiet one he got the leather satchel for?" You shook your head a bit in shock. Yuta got that for you…you thought.

"He told me he tried to get Yuta to let him have her in the beginning, but he said no." Chenle continued, and their voices faded as they continued down the hall. Your head was swimming and your heart had started to race again. There was nothing you could do if all that was true. You were Yuta's, and that was final.

~*~*~

There was a final straw for the other Sakuras though. At it would be their downfall it seemed, and they only fell because they weren’t careful when trying to push you over the edge first.

You were in the lounge, the area big enough to easily accommodate all of the girls and let them have all kinds of fun. Your favorite place was on the top bunk, of essentially a bunk-couch. Instead of a bunk bed, there was a nice soft couch with a wooden loft over it, and another couch on top with ladder-like staircase to get you up on. That was your favorite place. It was removed from the central conversation-pit-like area where most of the girls gathered. They would play drinking games and tell all sorts of lurid stories and secrets, while you would sit under the dim light of a lamp and read.

"Hiyomi, come here!" The girl that called you, Eiko, was the second eldest of your group. She was the only one that was actually Japanese herself, but even then, she was given a different name. You each were granted one from Yuta himself, you weren't even sure he knew any of your real names. Your birthnames didn't matter anymore.

Sighing, you reluctantly put your bookmark in your novel and trudged over to the group. Not everyone was there, Ten's girls were probably off getting drunk and defiled, and three of Taeyong's were with him abroad. Sitting down gently in an armchair, you smoothed your skirt down as you did and stiffly rested back.

"We're playing truth or dare." Of course they were.

"Okay?" They never invited you to play anything or do anything with them unless they were forced to. The competition had gotten much worse lately. As the Princes all approached the grand age of 25, they would finally choose their main wife. You were in the lead, to no one's surprise, but to everyone's chagrin. Yours included. You shot a quick glance at Jingxian. She was the forerunner of the Ursas…Kun's favorite seemingly. She was refined, elegant, beautiful. To many she was kind, sweet, but she was cold to you. She was never rude in person and as far as you know, after the book incident she didn't do anything. That was better than cruel though. She was close with Eiko, and you assumed that was why she disliked you so much, since Eiko cared so little for you. You didn't associate much with any of Kun's girls, but still you hated them. No, that wasn't the right word, you envied them. The worst thing was, you knew that Jingxian didn't love Kun. Just like you didn't love Yuta. She was enamored with Taeyong. Well, maybe not him, but his status. He was the crown prince, which would mean she could be queen if she was chosen. You weren't sure who else knew this, but you knew it was grounds for her to be more-or-less banished. If you really wished, you could out her, and get her kicked out, but what was the point? That wouldn't help you any, and there was no point in lashing out at her out of jealousy. That would make you just like all the others.

"Come sit here." Eiko was being way to friendly, which made you way suspicious. You followed her prompt though; you were the youngest after all. There was an empty soju bottle in the middle, the girls clearly having finished it off earlier.

"I'll start." One of the Petals started; her name was Anjeong. She spun the bottle, and you held your breath, only sighing gently in relief when it landed on Eunhwa, the eldest Bunny.

"Truth or dare, unni?"

"Hm." Eunhwa tapped her finger on her chin, "truth."

"How big is Prince Doyoung's cock?" She prompted and the girls chattered with curiosity. You zoned out then, knowing how this whole thing was going to go. Your eyes drifted to watch the gas flames in the fireplace. As you glanced back at the bottle as it was spun again, not even hearing her answer, your eyes passed over Lumei. She was the maknae of the Ursas, and you hated her the most. You could have been her; she was only about a month younger than you. She didn't seem to notice your glare and she giggled when the bottle landed on her when Eunhwa spun it.

"Truth or Dare, Lumei?"

"Dare!" She decided quickly and Eunhwa looked thoughtful for a second, looking around. She smirked and cast a devilish look at Jingxian before looking back to Lumei.

"Show us what Prince Kun's favorite position is." You wondered if they noticed you go still. Completely. You couldn't show a reaction, you didn't want to let any of them know your secret. They would use it to assassinate you. Jingxian scoffed at the question, over-dramatically.

"I don't think she's can." She grinned coyly, taking a sip of her wine and Lumei sent her a playful sneer.

"Honestly, I can't really show you, because I myself can't do it. But…" Lumei looked around and then climbed onto the couch behind her. She sat on it backwards, knees on the back of the couch, back to the cushion, her head hanging over the edge, hair flowing to the floor. She opened her mouth wide and just sat there a second, the other Ursas giggling. Your jaw clenched, eyes stinging, but you still didn't move.

"Her gag reflex is too sensitive." Jingxian pressed on her throat, and she hacked, sitting up to catch her breath around laughs.

"I can't even open my mouth that wide…" Mianyu mumbled, and the girls chattered and giggled. Your tongue ran over your lips, and you pondered if you could. You were all too familiar with that position Lumei mimicked, and at first you had been disgusted at her pose. But now you would enjoy it with Yuta more, you could imagine Kun instead. Like you often did. Your gag reflex was practically nonexistent, whether it was genetics or a fluke, it had always been that way.

"Okay!" Your eyes flicked to the bottle as Lumei spun it, still giggling, clearly tipsy. You sagged in relief when the bottle landed on Aikiro then. She was your biggest rival…in her eyes anyway. She outright despised you, she felt she should be the favorite just because she was the ‘leader’. Okay…whatever.

"Trush or dare?" The Ursa maknae hiccupped and you wondered if the blood going to her head made her drunker.

"Truth." She leaned back against the couch she sat in front of, sending a wry look your way. What did you do? You rolled your eyes and looked back at the fire.

"How many times have you done it with Yuta, and Jungwoo and Mark?" she asked, and silence fell over the group. Your eyes widened a bit, but you didn't look back to the group.

"You idiot!" Mianyu slapped the back of Lumei's head, and she yelped.

"What?" Aikiro nearly growled.

"W-well. I mean, everyone knows that Yuta invites them over a lot. Jinyu said…"

You felt four heated gazes fall on you and you licked your lips, looking slowly back at everyone else. Your eyes flicked to Jinyu who was staring at the floor, zoned out.

"What do you mean, a lot?" Aikiro looked back at Lumei who shriveled under her glare, pressing closer to Jingxian.

"E-every Friday." She replied. Before you could look back to your fellow Sakuras, you flinched as Aikiro stormed over, dumping her wine all over your head. You exhaled in shock, closing your eyes to prevent the alcohol from running into them.

"You fucking bitch! You told them? I bet you brag about it." You grit your teeth, reaching for the nearby tissue roll, but Eiko snatched it from your reach, her own drink joining. The fruity scent of whatever kind of pre-mixed cocktail she was drinking stung your nose and your hair started to drip.

"H-hey!" Gyuri, the kindest one there, the maknae of Doyoung's bunnies, tried. She really did try, but… You winced and grunted when a hand grabbed the back of your hair, yanking your head back so were forced to look up at the owner. Keiho was the oldest, out of all the girls actually, but she was the most cruel. She was the most two-faced as well. Your eyes flicked to her drink, expecting her to dump it on you as well, and your face fell. It was a bottled pina colada. Coconut. Everyone knew you were super allergic to it, couldn't even eat anything made in the same factory as coconut products.

"Hm, I wonder if you would like the taste of this?" Keiho took a sip before looking at the label on the bottle and she let go of your hair just long enough to let Eiko take over.

"Wait, Keiho-" Mianyu stood then, trying to go forward. Before she could get very far though, Jinyu grabbed her wrist, halting her. No one but you seemed to notice Gyuri slip away from the group and out the door. You prayed she was going to get help. Your heart was pounding, you were scared, legitimately. This wasn't a joke, not a game anymore. They were seriously out to hurt you. Keiho swirled the bottle a bit, and let it tip slightly, a drop falling from the mouth and landing on your cheek. It didn't take any more than five seconds for your skin to start itching, and the girls around you could see the skin already starting to redden, following the path of the drop before it landed on the floor. You tried to wiggle free at that point, out of Eiko's grip, but the final Sakura, Yumi, sat behind you in the chair, holding you in place. She giggled, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Should I tell them about Kun?" Her voice was so soft you almost didn't hear her. You froze then, eyes wide, looking toward Jingxian.

"She knows too, you know." Yumi whispered and then you saw the other woman smirk. The other girl still didn't let Mianyu go and help you. Aikiro kneeled then, joining Yumi in restraining you, her hand going to your face and pressing on your cheeks to force your mouth open. A tear fell from your eye, and you tried to shout, but Eiko's hand left your hair and landed on your throat. Not enough to cut off your air, but in just the right spot to silence you. Keiho swirled the drink again and was just about to tip it again, but she hesitated. Why? Your eyes met hers and she seemed to realize how bad it would be to do what she wanted, seeing the raising red welt on your face from just a drop. It wasn't like your tongue and throat would slowly swell shut, it could shut your body down faster than anyone could get help.

"Don't be a fucking coward." Jingxian snapped, slamming her wine glass down onto the side table so hard it sloshed from the glass. She snatched the bottle from Keiho, and she tipped it-

The sliding door slammed open, the loud noise startling her. The girls all looked in horror at the door, and you watched in terror as the bottle fell from her hand, the alcohol splashing onto you, and a swig or two fell into your still open mouth. You choked, trying to spit the liquid out, your mouth already burning, and the girls let you go as Yuta stormed into the room and straight to you.

"Hiyomi!" You spat more out, nearly tempted to force yourself to throw up…if you even could. Your mouth and face burned, your skin and eyes itched, and tears fell from your eyes as your head grew foggy. You were already wheezing, and Yuta was at your side immediately. A second person landed on your other side.

"Sit her up." You let Yuta move you, slumping back into him and watching blearily as the nurse brought the EpiPen down and injected the medicine into your thigh. You felt some relief at the moment, and you grew tired quickly but your breathing was still shallow. The nurse went ahead and injected the second shot and your body seemed to get enough relief that it wanted rest then.

"Hiyomi!" A third voice hit your ears and you blearily looked to see someone else dash in, heading for you as you fell unconscious.

 ~*~*~

You awoke to the sound of beeping, and distant voices. You blinked to clear your vision and it was clear you were in a hospital. You cringed, looking down at the IV in your arm…You really preferred it in your hand. You felt like you couldn’t bend your arm, and they had put it on your dominant side to boot. Groaning, you adjusted in the bed, your body and head felt heavy. The voices got louder; you could recognize one was Yuta's.

"They did it on purpose, everyone knows how allergic she is to coconut."

"I'm not saying what they did wasn't bad, but are you really okay with getting rid of your entire harem but Hiyomi?" It was another man, a voice you only ever heard in person once. It was the King.

"Father, if I had to pick only one wife, ever, it would be her. She was going to be my main wife anyway. I think having five of them is ridiculous anyway."

"Yuta-"

"I'm not the heir, anyway, so why does it matter?" You didn't hear a response if there was one.

"What about Jingxian and Jinyu?" Jinyu? She was there, but she hadn't done anything that you remembered.

"Get rid of them." Kun's voice was clear. And sharp.

"Didn't you tell me Jingxian was most likely your choice?"

"Not anymore."

"Jinyu too, then?"

"Wasn't it her idea?" Silence.

"Yuta, did what those six tell you not matter?"

"What?" Kun asked then, confused. You strained to hear Yuta's response.

"Yumi. She…she told me that Hiyomi likes you." Finally, your prince spoke. You heard the beeping of your heart monitor increase and felt it in your chest.

"Your highness, I found it!" A maid's voice joined, and you furrowed your brow, listening.

"There's a lock on it." What?

"Just snap it off." Your mouth went dry. Your journal. How'd she know about it? You were more than careful. Or so you thought.

"Did Miss Janyeon have the key to her lock box?"

"Yessir." Fuck. But, if the King requested, it wasn't like she could refuse. That was it. You were out. At least you didn't die.

"I knew all this." Yuta's soft voice was loud in your ears and your breath hitched. What?

"You did?" Kun and the King asked at the same time.

"She's careful. But I know her too well by this point."

"Why didn't you say anything?" the King prompted.

"She was mine, that's all I cared about. It was selfish, but… It is a bit worse than I thought." Yuta huffed.

"What do you want to do, Kun?" Their father moved on.

"It's up to her." It was hard to read his tone, and even in the other room, you could feel the tension rise just by the lack of response from Yuta.

"She's mine." His tone was harsh, you had only heard him angry one other time. Right before you passed out. It felt like minutes of silence passed.

"If that's what she wants." Kun spoke finally.

"I think we owe her a decision, since she went through such an ordeal. It’s impressive she kept it hidden so well, and didn't ever act on it, or act out against the other girls. I might not be around much, but your mothers are, and they tell me everything. She's brave and strong for all the shit the other girls put her through. For now, let's keep it hidden we all know, let her choose her next actions without interference. If she chooses Kun, what will you do Yuta?"

"If you love something, you gotta learn to let it go." His defeated tone made your throat clench. You didn't want to hurt him, you really cared for Yuta. You also knew that your feelings for Kun were borderline insane, if not straight-out irrational. It was infatuation, you weren't allowed to get close enough to him to call it love. You were starting to realize then, that it was probably Yuta's doing. Especially if he knew. Maybe that was why he kept you at his side if the others were around, you thought it might be to protect you from the other girls…

"That's a lot different than what you said three years ago."

"Fuck off."

"Yuta, if you allow her to choose Kun instead, you won't have anyone. It would look bad on me." their father pressed.

"If she leaves me, I'll abdicate." You gasped at that. Yuta was second born, even if he wasn't the crown prince, he was closer to the throne than anyone else. He was right after Taeyong, which would put him in a high position when the eldest became King.

"Yuta-"

"If Kun ditches his girls. If Hiyomi chooses you, you can only have her. She deserves the world, and you better fucking give it to her." You closed your eyes, a tear leaving your eye as you made your own decision. No matter how desperately you had wanted Kun the last four years, Yuta was willing to risk everything for you. You couldn't let him do that.

"Would it look bad for the third-born to have one wife?" Kun asked then and you clenched your jaw, the beeping on the machine picking up. You glanced at it, not sure how to read the numbers, worried if you got any more emotional it would set it off.

"I'm going to tell you boys something that no one else can know. Doyoung already requested that he only marry Gyuri. He's tired of dealing with the girls' drama. Ten doesn't care much for an actual marriage to anyone. Taeyong is willing to have the harem if he's king, since it was the deal for the imperial alliance. He already chose Sooyoung to be the crown princess. I remember when I was your age, all of the crap the girls did to each other, the backstabbing, the gossip. The only girl I've seen that hasn't played into any of it was Hiyomi. Even your mothers love her. If she chose Yuta, what would you do Kun?" More silence.

"If that's what she wants-"

"What the fuck do you want?" Yuta spat.

"Honestly? I want to take her from you. I have for years. I know you said, father, to let her decide without us interfering, but… I'm not going to just sit by." The King sighed so hard that you heard it, your head was spinning trying to process everything.

"If she feels safe with it, I want to bring those six to her. Make them apologize. Hiyomi can decide if they will simply be expelled or if she wants to press charges legally." Your mind ran rampant in that moment. The king was letting you decide? All of your hurt and anger, resentment, jealousy; everything bubbled inside.

"I will have someone speak to Mianyu and Lumei as well. I have a hard time believing they had no part to play, or at least that they didn't know." The king finished and the conversation died, and you assumed they left. A door opened and you realized they had been in the room next door, sharing the wall that was behind your head. Your own door started to open, and you partially shut your eyes, pretending that you just woke up.

"Miss Hiyomi?" A woman spoke a nurse entered, with Yuta behind her. No one else.

"Yes?" You opened your eyes more, continuing the act.

"Do you know where you are?"

"The hospital." You hadn’t hit your head, why wouldn’t you know?

"It was good the nurse had those EpiPens ready, you had a very quick and severe reaction. We're going to keep you here overnight and if all is good, you can go back tomorrow." The nurse smiled and then left after taking note of your vitals, leaving you with Yuta. He sat in the chair next to your bedside, taking your hand in his.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." You admitted and he couldn't help but sigh with a defeated smile.

"I would think. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Could I have some water first?"

"Oh!" He got up and went to get what you requested, probably from a vending machine or something. You hated tap water… Yuta returned, and he helped you sit the bed up more as you took a swig from the bottle. You noticed his brow furrow, and his thumb rubbed over your cheek, it must have been a bit red still.

"What happened, (Y/N)?" You nearly choked, luckily you hadn't taken a sip.

"W-what?"

"(Y/N)." He reiterated and you closed the bottle, lip quivering a bit. It had been so long since you heard that name…

"I didn't know you knew my real name." you whispered.

"I shouldn't. But I asked." You had a hard time meeting his eye, so you just rested back, eyes closed.

"I was stupid. I was just reading, and they invited me over to play truth or dare." You huffed in annoyance, "I was suspicious immediately, but I went along with it. I…" You didn't want him to know you heard their conversation, or that you knew he knew about your feelings for Kun.

"I hadn't even been picked, but Lumei asked Aikiro about…about Jungwoo and Mark." You finally looked at him and he nodded, realization painting over his worried expression.

"It was clear that only I get the…privilege." You weren’t sure what else to call it.

"Aikiro got pissed and so she dumped her wine on me. Eiko dumped her cocktail on me and they with Yumi held me while Keiho threatened to make me drink her pina colada." His brow instantly furrowed, anger clearly taking over. But he was the quiet, scary angry type.

"Keiho hesitated, so Jingxian grabbed it from her and decided to do it herself…" You shivered a bit, feeling angry yourself. You never felt so mad. Sad, upset, hurt, frustrated? Yes. Not anger, not the rage you felt taking over.

"What about Jinyu?"

"Jinyu?" You played along. Yuta sighed.

"Apparently it was her idea. We decided that those six need to go. Father wants them to apologize first. He said it was up to you if they get expelled or if you want to get the police involved." You knew all of that already, but you were able to put on a bewildered expression.

"I can decide?" Your prince didn't say anything, and you wondered if he was thinking about his willingness to let you decide about him, or Kun.

"Yes, of course."

"What…what about you and them?" He didn't look at you and you wondered how he would word what you already knew.

"I only need you." He told you softly and you tried to hide your wince.

"Will you meet with them? You don't have to."

"No, I want to hear them apologize. And I want to tell them they're expelled. And I want to press charges." You turned your determined gaze to Yuta; he had never seen you look so harsh. But it made him smile.

"Good."

~*~*~

The doctors determined you were good to be discharged the next day and when you got back to the Sakuras’ dorm, it didn't look any different. You then remembered you wanted to be the one to tell them they were expelled, so you got to. The rest of them weren't in there, but there were maids scurrying about in their bedrooms, packing up their stuff.

"Hiyomi!" You turned as the head handmaiden came in and her hands went to your face, looking you over.

"You poor child." She sighed after you told her in detail what you went through.

"I'm sorry I had to help them find your diary." She pulled the journal out of the top of her hanbok, the lock had been broken off.

"It's okay." You took it from her, "did you look at it?"

"No, child. I know how to respect someone's privacy." You nodded in thanks, and she left to attend to other duties and so you entered your own room. Nothing had been touched, at least it seemed that way, but you still checked. Finding everything was in line, you got changed into something a bit more formal for the rest of the day. Looking in the mirror, you put on the brown and black plaid jacket that matched your skirt. Adding the beret of the same pattern, you pulled it further back, then readjusted your thigh-high socks. After, since you had about an hour to kill before you were supposed to confront the girls, you rummaged through your things. Many of your nicer accessories and little trinkets were from Yuta. Your mind went back to the conversation you had overhead nearly three years prior. Plucking the familiar book off your shelf, you looked over it, the spine was wrinkled from many read-throughs and the signature was in a slightly different spot than the original. It was your favorite book, and it made sense why Jingxian targeted it, but how did she know? Probably Eiko… You then looked at your leather satchel, you used it constantly, and you had nearly forgotten that apparently, Yuta hadn't got it for you. Did Kun really get it instead? Or did he suggest it? Get it for Yuta to give you? You didn't know. The other little gifts started to leave a sour taste in your mouth, making you wonder if he had lied about any of the rest. Your glass paperweight in the shape of a cat went missing, and supposedly a maid found it in your laundry, so he brought it back. A set of manga you liked had a limited edition only sold in Japan that he got for your birthday. But…he hadn't been in Japan when they were on sale. Kun had been though. Letting your thoughts loop into the negative, you gathered all of your gifts, minus the bag, and piled them on your desk. The bag was a practical item, so it was allowed some grace, but you wanted to ditch the rest for some reason. Why did you feel so mad at Yuta? It wasn't like he did anything wrong, technically, he just continued to act like he didn't know about your feelings for his half-brother.

"Lady Hiyomi?" A soft voice called after a knock on your door. A younger maid had come to escort you to a sitting room where you were to meet with the girls. Swallowing the few nerves you had, surprisingly, you followed after her and entered the room. It was empty, no one else was there-

"(Y/N)." You startled, only noticing Kun as you got further into the room. He was sitting on the couch under a window, and you wondered why Yuta wasn't there. He looked gorgeous as always; his hair dyed a dirty blonde and slightly wavy, and he had on a navy and white letterman jacket.

"(Y/N)?" If Yuta wasn't supposed to know your real name, how did Kun? That didn't matter, you were there with him, alone. And he was coming toward you. That's when you got nervous, and you gripped your hands together to hide their quaking.

"Yuta told me. I…I needed to show you something before everyone else gets here." He pulled his phone from his back pocket, and you glanced up at his face to see his clearly upset expression. He tapped on the device, and you heard an audio recording start.

"Can you help me or not?"

Yuta?

"I can, but what's in it for me?"

Was that…Jinyu?

"I'll make it so you can leave. Get out of here." "What do you want me to do?" "Come up with the plan yourself but figure out a way for the other four Sakuras to get expelled." "Can't you do it yourself?" "Not without a reason. Public image and shit. I really don't care about the rest of them, I just want Hiyomi. Can you do it?" "Probably. You wanted me to drag Jingxian too, right?" "Please. She's gotten on my last fucking nerve. She has to know about Hiyomi and Kun, why else would she be such a bitch?" "I know that's it. What was the last thing she did again?" "Something petty, poured bleach on her favorite dress. I got her a new one and she didn't even notice, but…" "How many things have you replaced?" "Like seventeen or something crazy. Those are just the ones she doesn't know I did, too." "You know, if you weren't my cousin, I wouldn't do this." "Bullshit, you know that's not why. We're only second cousins." "I'm serious, Yuta. I couldn't care less about the others." "Even Kun?" "Kind of hard to like your future husband when you're a lesbian."

It was clear there was more to the recording, but he cut it off. You were silent for some time, trying to process everything you just heard. You stumbled and Kun quickly pocketed his phone and reached out to stabilize you, then led you to the couch.

"Did…did Yuta know what the plan was?"

"I doubt it. But…it still was partly because of him." You slumped against the back cushion, resting your cheek on it, mind swirling. Your hat fell from its place, and you just pulled it all the way off.

"W-what do you make of it?" You needed more information; your emotions were so turbulent you couldn't even decide for yourself what to feel.

"Well…I know Jingxian was such a bitch because I like you." He just straight out admitted it and your body froze, your default response. He must have noticed the jolt you gave as your body stiffened and his hand went to your chin, prompting you to look up at him. Being so close to him, it took your breath away, he was even more stunning up close. And his eyes were so gentle and warm, not the same sharp heat you normally got from Yuta.

"Honestly, early on I tried to get Yuta to let you go, so I could have you instead, but he refused." Kun sighed, then huffed with dry amusement, "I'll admit I'm a little crazy when it comes to you."

"Birds of a feather…" You mumbled and he let your face go and you just slumped against the couch again.

"You know how Yuta gets you two presents for your birthday?"

"One's from you, huh?" You guessed accurately it seemed.

"How-"

"A few years back, I overhead your friends in the hall. They said that you made Jingxian replace my signed book. I know my bag was from you. Looking at it now, those gifts make a lot more sense. They would be so different from each other. Yuta would get me a pretty set of earrings and a necklace, but then there would be a full book series. Or instead of nice shoes, it would be a galaxy print. The year-long pass to the planetarium?" Kun was more of an intellectual than Yuta for sure, he was the only one of the princes that went to college. That was part of the reason you liked him so much, he was more similar to you than anyone else there. You knew that even with the restricted amount of time you had around each other.

"How did you get that recording?" You asked when it seemed he was struggling to find a response. He glanced up at you, head still bowed, dirty blonde bangs falling over his brow.

"Jinyu sent it to me with a caveat. She made me promise that you wouldn't press charges against her. She doesn't mind the expulsion, would welcome it…"

"Did you know that she was…?"

"Yeah. She told me early on."

"Yes, it was her idea, but… Yuta prompted her, and if you promised her that, I'll respect it." Your expression hardened then, so quickly it made Kun raise his brow in surprise.

"I can't believe him. I know…" You swallowed hard, "I guess he did it because he loves me. Or that might be what he says, but for all this time…" You exhaled hard through your nose, brow furrowing.

"Yes, I want to get back at the girls even past kicking them out, pressing legal charges. They put me through so much shit for so long…And I shouldn't be this mad at Yuta, but… I want to get back at him too." Your last sentence was much quieter, you felt ashamed of your rage toward him, but that recording just bubbled everything over. You looked up then, fully to make eye contact with Kun.

"I just…I don’t know how. Help me?" The other prince hummed, leaning into the back cushion himself, looking pensive.

"I shouldn't be as sadistic as I want…" Your phone alarm went off then, meaning the others would be coming rather soon.

"Think on it, I'll go with what you plan." You told him, standing to adjust your clothes. Stepping over to a mirror, you put your hat back on, fixing your rumpled hair as well. The king was coming too after all. As you primped, Kun stepped up behind you so you could see him in the reflection as well. He wasn't any taller than Yuta, but that did still put him nearly a head taller than you since you weren't in heels. You gasped, watching his arms wrap around you from behind, his cheek pressing against the side of your head. The black fabric of his sleeve smelled amazing, like him of course. Your heart started to beat so hard you were sure he could hear it, maybe even feel it where his chest met your back.

"Tell me, what does Hiyomi mean? Do you know?"

"Something with sunlight and beauty." You had learned Japanese in your training, but that didn't mean you knew name etymology. Yuta had mentioned it before though.

"How do you like Yuhua?" You assumed it was something similar…was he already thinking of picking a different name for you? Honestly, it was the next best after your birthname.

"Perfect." You whispered and nearly whined when he pulled away abruptly, the door opening not even thirty seconds later. Your posture immediately corrected itself, and you bowed your head as the King entered, followed by Yuta, then the six girls were escorted in by a few of the royal guards. Though, they looked more like federal agents…

"Sit." One of them ordered and the clearly dismayed girls followed. There was still evidence of mascara running and their faces were blotchy and red. They weren't in their fancy clothes either, having been dressed in clothes similar to the uniforms worn as trainees. Plain pleated skirts and button ups with a cardigan. For once, you weren't the plainest dressed one in the room, and you felt more smug than angry looking over them.

"Come here, child." The king prompted and you stepped to his side at his prompting, head still bowed to avoid looking at his face. You didn't notice the glare Yuta had sent Kun's way when he realized he had arrived there early. And that he had access to you without your prince being there as well.

"Tell them, Hiyomi." He motioned with his hand, and you turned to face them fully. They were clearly shocked by your cold gaze, and your eyes met Jinyu's. She looked significantly less nervous, and it was clear she was putting on an act.

"Expel them, please, your highness." The five other girls had various reactions, all forced down and if glares could kill, Jingxian would succeed in her mission.

"Of course. Now, you six. Apologize." The King's tone was hard, and the girls shakily stood and moved to face you. They clearly didn't want to do what followed, but they had little choice. They fell slowly to their knees, and bowed low, foreheads on their hands pressed to the floor. You barely registered the clearly scripted words they spoke, and you turned to look over your shoulder at the princes. Your gaze first went to Yuta, and it was clear he had no idea that you knew everything. He gave you his classic smile, but it just pissed you off then. You then looked at Kun and he gave a subtle nod.

"Jinyu can go." You then noted and the King was curious why you only let her go, but he allowed it. He knew there was something unspoken since Jinyu seemed to sag in relief as she left.

"We'll tell them the rest, father. Would you mind leaving us to it?" Kun stepped forward and his father turned to look back at him. They exchanged something unspoken through their gaze.

"Very well." He nodded and he left along with the guards, who stayed stationed outside the door as it closed.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta stepped up closer, but you ignored him, going to where the girls had sat back down. The other Sakuras looked a bit more nervous, but Jingxian was steaming. All of her hard work over the years, desperate to get whatever wealth and power she could, gone. The sneer she shot you pissed you off, hand flying up without thought, smacking her hard enough to snap her head to the side. She just sat there, not looking back at you. Not sure what to say to them, you turned and looked at Kun who was in the same spot, a little behind his slightly older brother. A smug look fell on his face, and he stepped around the other prince, shedding his letterman-style jacket and laying it on the table. You wanted to swoon as he rolled the sleeves of his white button-up, so they bunched above his elbows. Paired with his watch and the ring he had on his index finger, it was so little, but so hot. Yuta must have noticed how your expression changed, recognized it even, but you knew it was different than anything you gave him.

Kun sidled up next to you and he raised a brow, silently asking if you were ready. You nodded so slightly, with a tiny hum and you gasped as his hand grabbed your chin. The move was a bit rough, but your gasp was of delight, not fear or shock. His eyes were still warm, and he had the sexy grin back, your thighs twitched along with your core.

"You know, it’s a shame that only Yuta could get a girl so good." His grip softened, and he cupped your jaw instead. The room was so quiet you could hear Jingxian's jaw clench and made her teeth grind against each other. Kun's face was so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips.

"Kun, what are you-" Yuta started, coming closer.

"But it's also a shame that she got stuck with him." His tone was incredibly patronizing, derisive and you just took the chance to bask in his presence and attention as he pulled his phone back out, stepping back slightly. He still had the audio clip paused where he left it off before, and you saw then it was half-way through.

"At least you only have to deal with one guy. He also knows. I have to get it up for four other sluts I couldn't care less for."

 The four other Sakuras gasped, and your eyes flicked to look at Kun's phone, but his hand at your jaw turned you back to focus on him. It was hard to get mad with the following audio while looking over him, so close to you. You didn't even care to look and see what Yuta's expression was. He had frozen, just behind his half-brother, almost scared to move.

"Viagra?" "No, I just pretend they're Hiyomi. Hard to do though. Eiko's so fucking annoying and won't shut up. Sounds like a bad porno. Aikiro still doesn't know what the fuck she's doing even after training for a year and more. Yumi has no stamina and is selfish to boot. Keiho-"

Your eyes flicked to the phone again, waiting for him to finish. It seemed he paused to take a drink or something, because the audio kept progressing.

"Keiho is a fraud. She thinks I don't know that she goes to Ten's little orgies or whatever. I know she's slept with half of the guard too."

All the girls looked at Keiho then, her cheeks that were bright red with anger were now horribly pale.

"She acts like she wants stuff vanilla, loving. I know she can only get satisfied with two cocks in her."

Kun shut it off then, only a few seconds left but you had heard enough. How dare he criticize Keiho when he was the one that brought his friends in to fuck you at the same time? Did he think it would be flattering that he only thinks of you when he's with the others?

"Hiyomi-" Yuta tried to start, and you wanted to push around Kun, smack his stupid pretty face. But you trusted the other prince to come up with the best thing he could. He already tore down the girls, that much was obvious from their faces and the devastated looks they sent Yuta.

"Despite his supposed love for you, sweetheart, it’s a shame you don't feel the same." Since it wasn't directed at you, and it would still be incredibly hot if it was, the smug sadistic grin he had riled you up all the more. Kun hummed, prompting you to respond and he chuckled at the dazed look you had.

"No, I don't." It was like he was some kind of drug; your thoughts were foggy, and you needed more of him. He had taken out the girls, they looked like all the fight had been ripped from them, slumped on the couch. It had hit Yuta too, but not enough, not yet. Though, Kun needed to finish Jingxian first.

"Do you know how hard it was for me? From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. The only reason I was going to choose Jingxian was because I hate her. I couldn't live with myself if you weren't my wife, my princess, but I didn't want to hurt the other girls. They didn't deserve the hurt like her. She's a horrible human being and she seemed all the worse compared to you, (Y/N)." Hearing him say your real name again did it, you were head over heels in love with him and you thanked whatever higher being finally graced you with something good. All of the shit you had put up with came to the best moment of your life, knowing Kun wanted you just as badly as you wanted him. Even if you both knew it was crazy, even sick; at least you could be lovesick together. The final hit to the girls, hidden from Yuta since Kun blocked you from his sight, was the extremely gentle kiss he pressed to your forehead, followed by him gently brushing his nose over yours.

"Guards, take them to the police." The prince let your chin go, just enough so he could step back so as not to shout in your ear. The door opened and the suits came in, quite literally hauling the girls away, Jingxian now just as broken as the others.

"Only one left." You whispered when Kun came back to you. He shifted where you stood with a hand on your lower back, making you visible to Yuta then.

"Show him you're mine." He told you and it seemed your minds were linked. At graduation, each girl would kneel before the prince and swear their loyalty, almost like being coronated. You sank to your knees, but you looked up at him instead. The normally practiced display of reverence for a girl's monarch was corrupted by the desire you looked at him with, and he you. You were submitting to him as a man, not as a higher-up, nor a prince. He grinned when your hands gripped his belt, not moving to remove it, but the implication was clear-

"You fucker." Yuta shot forward, hand burying in Kun's shirt and yanking him away from you. You flinched back as Kun was pulled away and you quickly stood as the brothers stared each other down.

"You lost, Yuta. Move on, she's mine now. Ready to abdicate?" You flinched back with a gasp, hands covering your mouth as Yuta's fist moved toward his brother's face. Kun deftly moved his head the little bit he had to for the blow to miss.

"Wait!" You tried to weasel your way between them before the elder landed a punch on the younger. Even though they were the same height, Kun was bigger, Yuta had a hard time gaining any kind of bulk and he looked like a twig next to the other prince. While he wasn't the most muscular man you knew, he was outright perfect to you, and it was clear he was strong because Yuta barely budged him with his tug on his shirt, he moved with the pull. That was beside the point… You got back at Yuta, what happened was enough, you could tell by the hurt etched into his face. Your anger had immediately dissipated, a better solution hitting your mind. Neither of them knew you had heard the full conversation the day before, but that didn't change that you had.

"Don't abdicate. You already are losing your harem, but you told Kun to only have me, right?" Both men were clearly shocked that at your words and you took the chance to shove Yuta off, standing in front of Kun, clearly in a show of protection. Like you could really do anything…

"Y-yes." Your prince's voice was soft and rough. He didn't deserve how much you really wanted to wreck him. Your rationality had kicked in, logic taking over, he was already defeated.

"We’ll tell the press that the other four turned against me because I didn't want to be involved with you. Turn it on me. You take the three from Kun, and I go to him. You're second born, you can't just give up those rights-"

"(Y/N), I don't want to be a prince without you as my princess." Your chin quivered a bit at his tone, his eyes glassy.

"And I don't want to be a princess without Kun as my prince." You countered. You needed to break his heart for him to let you go. You didn’t turn to look at the other man even though Yuta's eyes flashed to look over your shoulder.

"Take the other three, add two more from wherever, do whatever. Wouldn't you rather move on and find someone else than love me and know I don't feel the same? If you love something let it go? Do you think I want to be restricted to you, when I love someone else?"

"You love him?" You didn't respond to his question. It wasn't the real definition of love, it wasn't that pure, but you had some twisted loyalty to Kun that you never did for Yuta.

"Do you love me?" You pushed back. You weren't sure, it seemed somewhat like you were a trophy, a luxury item that he might adore, but…

"You're supposed to be mine." He didn't answer the question. Not directly.

"You don't love me, I’m just your favorite. You liked that I didn't fight the other girls tooth and nail just to get your attention. You liked the challenge. If you really cared you would have told me all the shit that Jingxian did, and the others, I'm sure. You never even bothered to learn who I was, getting me pretty, girly things. You played up the romance but never did anything I liked with me. I might have been in your bed the most, but I wasn't in your heart."

"And you were in Kun's?" Yuta nearly spat, not trying to defend himself, because you were right.

"What's her favorite thing?" The man behind you cut in and you turned to look at him. You didn't answer, genuinely curious if Yuta knew, because he never acted on it…

"Books."

"Wrong. Space. She goes out at night to watch the stars. All her books are science-fiction. Her favorite sweatshirt is of the milky way and if there's ever a special event at the planetarium, she's there." How did he know all of that? The other prince was silent, clearly not sure what to do or say next. His eyes went back to you, and you couldn't meet his look, and stepped closer to Kun.

"Favorite animal?" Kun continued.

"Dogs-"

"Goats. She just can't have one as a pet, she asked. The keychain on her bag is a goat. So is the plushie she takes with her on out-of-country flights. She tells people she likes dogs because it's more accepted.”

"Her favorite color is dark purple because it looks like the night sky. She loves snow but hates rain. She's the only girl fluent in all four languages. She hates moths and loves fireflies." He kept going and you wondered how he knew all that. Though…it was all things that were more or less common knowledge, things your friends knew. It wasn't creepy, just observant, and it should be things Yuta knew. But, based on his face, he really didn't.

"He loves planes. He took lessons to learn to fly one. He loves cats but doesn't have one because Lumei is allergic. He wears a lot of black and white, but he always uses a blue pen because he likes blue too. He hates cold weather; he knows how to cook, and he even is scared of butterflies." You smiled softly, realizing all the things he knew about you, you pretty much knew about him as well. It was things you overheard while near him or figured out by watching him from afar. After an uncomfortable silence, you finally looked up to meet Yuta's gaze.

"I'll go talk to father. I'll… if you ever break her heart, I'll fucking kill you." The prince exhaled, seeming to get some kind of closure and he stepped closer, reaching for you. Midway though, his hand stopped, and his eyes flicked to the side, at your earrings.

"They're moons." He noticed.

"Yes." Your voice was quiet, and the prince dropped his hand, cast one more look to his brother, and left. Watching him go was…a relief. You thought you might feel something else, be a little sad, or hurt, but you just felt at ease. As you turned to face Kun once more, he was already there, his hands at your jaw and he pulled you to him, kissing you so hard your teeth clashed against his. The force of him pulling you into him knocked your hat off, falling to the floor. You whimpered, hands holding his wrists as you try to meet his fervor. Your butt hit the table when he turned you with his leg wedging between yours. One hand left your jaw to cup the back of your head, blunt nails scratching your scalp. The other hand found its way to your waist, then his arm snaked around your middle, helping you up to sit on the table. Kun finally pulled away, both of you panting and your dazed eyes met his sharp ones.

"Fuck." He sighed, leaning forward and resting his forehead on your shoulder. His hands rested on the table, holding him up so he didn't rest his full weight on you, and he stood there for a while. You pressed your cheek to his soft hair, basking in him finally being so close to you. Slowly, you brought your arms up, shaking, and wrapped them around his shoulders. The hug was quickly returned, Kun enveloping you back, and you pressed your face into his chest. With your ear over his heart, you closed your eyes, listening to it beat, soaking in the scent of his cologne. Neither of you really wanted to pull back, but never-the-less did so. He took your hands in his, bringing them up so he could kiss them.

"I need to talk to father as well, sweetheart," his hand cupped your cheek, thumb rubbing your soft skin, "wait for me."

Due to formalities and legalities, you weren't Kun's right away. Because of all the rules, you both were moved into a guest house more or less, still on the royal campus, but not one of the official palaces. You had to wait for nearly a week as the ministers convened, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Taeyong remained the heir and was the only one that kept the harem as promised. Yuta didn't abdicate, but he didn't rebuild his harem either. He ended up moving to Japan then, becoming the ambassador for that part of the empire. Kun adopted most of his roles and rights, and it was well received by the public that he wanted to marry for love instead. He wasn't the heir, so the ministers didn't mind too much. Ten had some of his privileges revoked when it was revealed how debaucherously he was living, but he didn't mind. Doyoung too gave up his harem, minus Gyuri. A lot of things changed fast, but it was welcome. Finally, once everything was official, you stood in the middle of the foyer of your new home, watching people mill about as they moved the final things in. Looking around, you startled when someone snuck up behind you, hugging you.

"It's done, sweetheart." Kun nuzzled behind your ear, and you bit your lip, giggling.

"Once everyone leaves, I'm going to take you, since your mine now."

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[synthetic-ultramarine]

My pleroma's thesis reading list is turning out to have a recurring theme of divine/pilot relationships diverging from what is conventional for their time and place and growing to resemble the relationship models of other societies instead; it comes up in Vault of Anticipation and in the road to palisade Hounds game. The divine/pilot relationship is explicitly represented across seasons as socially constructed and as something that changes. I think this is a refreshing break from the larger media landscape, where ideas of "what a wizard is" or "what a jedi is" are frequently imagined in a more essentialist way and often not imagined by their writers as socially constructed and therefore changeable.

Anyway in the vault of anticipation, Anticipation is found to have died attempting to disprove Pleroma's conclusion that any relationship between mortals and divines is ultimately doomed to become a relationship of exploitation in the long term. Ironically, in attempting to prove that mortals and divines can have equitable relationships which do not devolve into domination and exploitation, Anticipation consumed her Excerpt, using the processing power of her human brain and leaving her a mummified husk. this Excerpt's name was "Under the cover of night, the Civet stalked mouse and berry alike", abbreviated to ⸢Civet⸣; the animal name calls back to the naming conventions of the Divine/Candidate relationship. While the Divine/Excerpt relationship is more equitable, the Divine/Candidate relationship was likened to human sacrifice. Harm or death to the human partner as a result of a relationship with the divine was considered normal in Counter/weight, but was shocking and disturbing in the twilight mirage.

Fealty and Veronique's relationship is a Divine/Elect relationship, but their story has callbacks to both the Divine/Excerpt and Divine/Candidate relationships. Veronique was recruited as a student athlete; her relative youth calls back to the teenage Candidates of the counter/weight era, who reference the child soldiers of the mech genre's canonical works. There are other counter/weight callbacks; the etymological relationship between "Veronique" and "Berenice" calls back to Cassander and the use of the javelin as a primary weapon by both partners brings to mind the iconic image of Cassander's defeat of Rigour and autocrucifixion. It's like poetry, it rhymes. Later when the heresy squad comes after them, Fealty refers to Veronique as their "excerpt," not as their elect. To the heresy squad the use of this old terminology marks their relationship as deviant/heretical and in need of dissolution. For Fealty and Veronique, deserting the principality means redefining their relationship on their own terms, and while Veronique struggles to imagine a world outside of the Pricipality, Fealty remembers a world before it ever existed, and remembers having past relationships outside of the principality's standards.

Dahlia, Commitment, and integrity are (were) an interesting one. Their relationship deviated from the standard Principality model; Commitment was always unusual with its requirement for two pilots. Integrity is as old as Fealty, if not older; its form factor is unusual, and its relationship with Sokrates was unconventional, not least because they orchestrated a coup together. The Integrity/Dahlia/Commitment triad has a divine acting as the pilot of another divine which i think might be entirely new. Dahlia is stated to be appropriating/recuperating branched ideas about bodies and about relationships with the divine. This is different from the last two examples because it's mirroring a contemporary relationship model and not a past relationship model; the branched have solved or bypassed the issues Pleroma predicted by attaining a post-post-postmodern anarchic shifting oneness with the divine. Dahlia wants to gain power by emulating that relationship model but doesn't truly understand it.

[fussypaws]

okay now tell them about wolf quest

Can’t believe you got on Tumblr just to read my infodump about MHA and then send this ask. You KNOW how I feel about Wolfquest. But fine I will tell them about Wolfquest just for you.

Okay SO. I’m kinda new to Wolfquest in relation to a lot of older players, I never played Wolfquest Classic and have only played Wolfquest Anniversary Edition (Wolfquest “3” sorta). But it is one of my favorite things and I love wolves so much :3

I really love how dedicated the devs are to adding to it and making it accurate!! I’m so stoked about the Saga (which is “the rest of the game” as they call it). I waited years and its finally out now!!! I haven’t played it yet though because my brain says the time isn’t right yet. I’m charging up though. My only regret is that I didn’t manage to play my first wolf (Willis) into her final year… I think I had 2 years left to go when the Saga came out. But its okay… I guess… its not a huge deal, I just wanted to play into her final year so I could have the full average Wolfquest experience before the Saga came out and changed the game forever. But its okay…

I’m also so excited about new maps!!! When I first started playing there was only Slough Creek, Amethyst Mountain, and Lost River (Classic), and also you always started in AM and would move to SC when you got your mate. Now you can start and move wherever you want!!! I also own Hellroaring Mountain but haven’t played much of it yet!! Had a friend spoil that you can get shot in it if you leave the safe area of the map and I was a little bummed and avoided playing it for that reason. But wanting to try it out soon!!! I also wonder when they will release Towerfall. I know they were going to awhile ago but changed their minds because people were confusing Towerfall for being the Saga instead of just a new map, so they released HRM instead.

I’m probably going to have to switch around the wolf spreadsheet now with the Saga being out and all… Rn I just use it to keep track of my wolves, their pups and mates, coat patterns and K Locus gene stuff, and the number of litters they’re on. It probably won’t need to be a huge change, there’s just new information that I might want to keep track of now (XP? Age? Where pups go after they disperse?)

I also love the new creatures they’ve been adding! Like pronghorns and wolverines! Makes the game feel sooo alive. I hope they still plan to add bighorn sheep! And I love the collecting achievements! Like collecting every type of antler and every type of skull! Its so cool omg holy shit. I also adore all the new howls they recorded and implemented!!

I really hope they add more coat DLCs. I want more coats for my wolves!!! I also really like the NPC coats and the process of unlocking them! I think its pretty rewarding :)

I alsoooo have a wolfquest sideblog where I mostly post screenshots from my game (its pretty inactive rn because I ummm have over 1000 screenshots and I’m intimidated about working through them). I looooove my wolves. My icon on that blog is also my first wolf, Willis, that I mentioned earlier :3 its @rendezvous-site if anyone is curious (pls look at my blog theme I worked so hard on it and I rly like it).

Ummm anyway this is something I’m also sooooo normal about.

[chevvy-ryder]

[NC_RES]_00003131 raver_ritter_scharfenberg_004_CCR_HB_JT_WB.file ///core:_tech_bitez.file\\\

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⚠️ READ:

Please do not repost/reupload any of my art here or to any other platform, or I will be forced to do anything to get it annihilated.

A little more visibility over on my pillowfort on this post.

This is part of Garnet's birthday. Ryder did not only show up to give him a present, he also showed bc it was also CCR, so ofc course they had a little fun.

My hc is that this is maybe a year before Ryder gets to know Thyjs. So, for those who wonder why I portray Ry now with Garnet like this: Ry hasn't been bound in a relationship several years after he and V broke up in 2072. There's a huge time spawn where Ryder just wanted to have fun and this fun often happened to be with Garnet as both enjoy having an active sex life without the neccessity of being in a relationship. And since CCR is a sex-positive event therefore it is not unlikely you see them making out too.

So, on Garnet's birthday ry said "Tonight I'll tease you and please you, Falco." and Falco doesn't say no to that invitation. x)

more about the process of taking the pic (and further thoughts) under the cut

I don't have taken any more pics with them being naked nor doing the nasty as I currently do not have much time and still miss the nibbles replacer of nsfw Ry npv (it already needs to be updated anyways), so I took these pics half via amm and half pm mode poses.

Ry is amm spawn, Garnet is normal player V after I placed an amm spawn of him to get Ryder in his position. Spawned Garnet's head did clip into Ryder's bc of the joytoy expressions so I had to change for pm mode Garnet in the end after Ry got freezed. But I'm keen to try it out when I have more time.

I would love to do this already with Ry and Thy as well but something tells me to wait with it as they are slow burn and I am waiting for further mods to appear and I am thinking about to commission a custom Sandevistan for Thyjs, but not sure to whom yet.

I also decided, that when I take Chrome Chamber Rave pics I'll give them this texture with that frame and the added 18 to it so you notice it is CCR themed. Taking pics is not allowed in there for the attenders but there's some official photographer who walks around and is allowed to take pics but he needs to ask first and those pics are kept private. And this pic of Ry and Garnet is also one of those.

And if you visited the pillowfort post for the landscape version of this pose, yes Ryder often does go raving almost naked. That's why this event is so strict. On the dancefloor its required to keep certain parts packed in/censored e.g. by pasties. You will feel more than happy with less clothes on you because it's fucking hot inside. And when you want to visit the playroom you do not have to take of that many clothes anymore. It's not a must to walk around like this. You are still allowed to wear pants and e.g. shirts bu they have to fit to the concept. Not everyone wants to walk around almost naked but you have to keep in mind, that a lot of them actually do that there.

[ananke-xiii]

If man is five, then the devil is six, and if the devil is six then god is seven…

(general content warning: this post is about "The Substance" which is a body horror movie so I will mention blood&other stuff)

I was very curious about “The Substance” because everything about it, from the trailer to the music, from the actors to the visuals, promised something veeery good. At the same time, however, I was also a bit anxious because the internet content my algorithm had decided for me seemed to suggest that the movie was great for two major reasons: its references to 80s movies and its critique of the toll the beauty industry exacts on women. And I was like “Okay, fine but I hope it’s more than that” and I’m happy to say that it totally is!

Before watching the movie I wrote that, based on the information I had at the time, the movie’s core theme seemed to be the myth of Demeter and Persephone. After having watched the movie I can confirm my theory, although what I watched was a bit different than the usual interpretation of said myth. There are a lot of GREAT movies about the theme of woman/duality but, as far as I remember and as far as I personally know, in almost all these movies the main element is the relationship between two women (which is amazing and I wouldn’t ever change that). This is not (just) what I’ve seen in “The Substance”.

I think that the main element in the movie is the impact that the negation of natural cycles has on people. It’s not just the beauty industry that denies us to embrace the cycles of life (we can’t stay young forever, this is just an obvious fact that we all know), it’s the whole system we live in which doesn’t accept change and favors replacement of what’s known for something similar (and therefore considered “normal”) against the exploration of what’s new and different (and therefore considered “abnormal”.) In our society a “normal” thing like aging thus becomes “abnormal”… monstrous.

Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley are PHENOMENAL and I truly hope more and more awards come their way because they deserve them all. However, what struck me the most is how the movie doesn’t rely on dialogue at all, everything and I mean everything it’s in the visuals, the photography, the movements, the body. Coralie Fargeat really had a clear vision inside her mind and she managed to transfer that vision from her own inner world to the outside world. While I was watching the movie I had the feeling that all the people working on it were doing their best to give birth to her vision and it was a fantastic thing to watch.

What I personally took from this vision of hers is that, to the surprise of probably nobody, the main character of the movie is the Substance itself. So what is this mysterious Substance exactly? The first “surprise” is that it’s not merely a thing, a miraculous product but it’s a process. It’s a routine that one must stick to without fail. The balance must be respected: it’s a commandment that demands respect and that doesn’t even bother to tell you what the consequences might be in the event said balance is disrespected. Just obey it.

Elisabeth means “God is my oath” and this is what she does in the movie: she promises that she will respect the balance and obvisoulsy things won't go well. But Elisabeth also means “God is perfection”, “God is seven” so I want to take a look at what this means in the movie.

The process that taking the Substance entails has different stages: the first one is taking the Activator which, the movie tells us, must be taken only ONCE. Once the Activator has been used Elisabeth’s body gives birth to Sue, who’s not only herself but a “better version” of herself, the version she dreams about, perhaps. The Activator stands for the Aristotelian concept of semen as an “activator”, the “active principle”, the thing that creates and gives life and shape form while matter is the passive aspect of the process, the thing that get molded and shaped. The Activator also stands for God: Eve from Adam, Sue from Elisabeth.

Like Creation took seven days to be completed, the process of the Substance lasts seven days after which the balance must be restored. So this specific Creation seems to be a little bit imbalanced to my taste: the weight given on the Created is way too big, the process’ targets seem to be both desperate, lonely people and obedient, docile people. The combination of blind desperation and required obedience is a recipe for disaster. The balance never was balanced in the first place: as ALWAYS the game is rigged.

But seven is not just a biblical number, it’s a magical numbers in many different traditions. 7 times 4 is 28 and oh, look! These are days of the lunar month! There are also the days of an "average"(more or less, it's very difficult to define "average" when it comes to menstrual cycles but I digress) menstrual cycle. If I’m not mistaken Elisabeth starts the process in May, during full spring, while things precipitate at the beginning of winter… on Dec 31st, New Year’s Eve according the solar calendar.

As I’ve said, this movie, at least to me, speaks about time and its cycles and specifically about how societal time is not in tune with nature's time. Elisabeth is 50 and, even if it’s not said, it’s implied that she’s reached menopause, aka the end of her menstrual cycle, a cycle of life that society has decided to be the period when a woman stops being a palatable object of desire. A period of life that's undesirable. Fertility and desire are connected in a way that’s supposed to be “normal” and “natural” but that it’s clearly not. On the other hand, Sue is not a better version of Elisabeth but the version of Elisabeth that society deems palatable. Society wants to eat Sue and Sue wants to eat Elisabeth and be done with her.

One of the things that I loved about the movie is that it used the snake symbolism in such a brilliant way, like I was “woah!”. “The Substance” starts with one egg that, after being pricked with a syringe containing the Activator, becomes two. Moving on, the chicken has a prominent role in the story and it’s mainly associated with Elisabeth, but I really, really enjoyed how the film subtextually framed Sue as a snake that doesn’t eat eggs/chickens but that… eats herself.

Sue doesn’t come from Elisabeth’s rib but from her spinal column. The scar that’s left on Elisabeth’s body is serpentine in form and, of course, it is believed that the Kundalini snake “rests” at the beginning of the spine, in the lumbar area, and, if awaken, raises its head until it reaches the skull. Sue and Elisabeth, but specifically Sue because of her misuse and her desire to eat Elisabeth/herself, feed off the other’s cerebrospinal fluid that’s collected via a lumbar puncture. So what Sue is basically doing is feeding off Elisabeth’s Kundalini energy, which is a sexual energy. An energy, thus, very much connected to desire, fertility and pleasure.

Another thing that I have ADORED is precisely that, the choice of the cerebrospinal fluid. I mean, the easiest, most obvious way would be using blood for its blatant reference to menstrual blood and life but not! Fargeat knows what she’s doing and, instead, she uses the bathroom as the primary location in the show but she doesn't use blood to show Elisabeth and Sue's relationship. I can’t speak for everyone but personally, as a woman, a girl and a kid I’ve always had the closest relationship with bathrooms. I used to do everything in the bathroom, even to hide there and this is what Elisabeth/Sue also does to the point that Sue fucking builds a secret room inside her bathroom to...hide herself/Elisabeth. Genius!!!

Of course, blood is still central in the movie but its main usage is saved for the last scene. Monstro ElisaSue doesn’t make it to the new year because Time as construed by society doesn’t allow monstrosity. Elisabeth and Sue can live provided that they are separate and they obey and respect the balance. They cannot live together, in fact living together as in One person is seen as a monstrosity. You, quite literally, cannot be yourself AND the self society deems it's your "better version". Humans must stay divided, severed, separated in themselves first and foremost because the balance feeds off this separation, this is why the game must stay rigged. If there’s nothing to compare against there is no need for a scale.

So yeah, to me this movie is surely about the issues with the beauty industry today but this is just a facet of a bigger, deeper, more complex issue: cycles can only happen in nature, they’re just a convention because we need a calendar to mark the days and control the people but the same people cannot live their natural cycles. Life itself is denied to them. They must stay young and beautiful and perfect. Forever.

[aotopmha]

I have finished Dawntrail!

I will have a spoiler-free post (this one) and a spoiler-y post (probably one of my following ones) of my very general thoughts.

If there's a wish to avoid even this kind of post, then the warning is here.

For spoiler-free impressions, I will say that I did notice a bigger inconsistency in terms of the voice work.

The final boss had straight-up flat delivery that didn't exist in most cutscenes for ALL voice actors.

Everyone is also mostly fine when talking normally, but when yelling or stronger feelings are needed, especially the newest actors feel strangely off.

Wuk sounded absolutely fine and consistent in 6.55, but there were points where she just sounded really flat in the actual expansion.

I'm also in the camp that the credits theme sounded off. The chorus was fine (and the same track was completely fine when used in a couple of other cutscenes), but the main vocalist sounded really off. It took me out of what was otherwise a very solid final stretch of story. And the singer has done some great stuff before!

It's all really odd and I didn't think I would have these complaints ever again after A Realm Reborn because the voice work since then has ranged from good to amazing.

I'm really curious about what's going on behind the scenes.

FF14's vocal tracks have been weak at points to me, but not once have I felt a vocalist sounded absolutely awful.

Otherwise this expansion is up there in terms of the soundtrack, might be my favourite so far. Incredibly strong all the way through aside from the vocalist in this single track.

The graphics update has done wonders to endear me to the world and this will be the first expansion I will absolutely max out the FATEs for perhaps even just this reason alone. It's a miracle how much more strongly you can sell a world with better lighting and just a little bit more object density.

The content itself is also absolutely fantastic - if the story really bores you, I at least recommend skipping through it to do the dungeons and trials and maybe go back for the story via New Game+. The encounter design is refreshing, from a whole bunch of new mechanics to more interesting fodder enemy usage.

The class changes, while feeling relatively minor have felt like really good smoothing out of awkward elements.

I especially feel this with Dragoon, and as much as I miss Plunge, Dark Knight's new ability animations alone go a long way to add to that smoother feel, as well.

i also adore Viper, which I think is my favourite melee out of the ones I've played. Simple, but speedy and satisfying to play.

I will absolutely still remain a DRK main in a general sense, though.

Will be running dungeons to get everyone along all of the game.

Finally, I think the story came together really nicely by the end, with some interesting threads left behind.

It is much more simple than Shadowbringers and Endwalker, but I think it was still effective. As I've said in previous posts, it's just really thematically strong and followed that strength right to the end, even if I have varied opinions on all of the characters.

In terms of immediate impressions, content-wise (dungeons and trials in particular), as far as base expansions go, I'd place it above ARR, Heavensward and probably Endwalker (Endwalker's solo duties rocked and narrative and gameplay integration is still unmatched, but the encounter design itself isn't as distinct).

Story-wise I'd probably place it above A Realm Reborn and Stormblood because it has a similar spirit of exploration with much better pacing within its individual areas. Every time I felt the story started dragging in its own ecosystem, it moved on and the answers by the end were satisfying and made sense while ARR and StB actually didn't have that many mysteries to even think about, so had much less impetus to at least seek those out.

It had no Labyrinthos, Ruby Sea, Moogle quest or Mt. Gulg setup. But it wasn't as complex in terms of character writing as Endwalker, Shadowbringers and to some extent even Heavensward and Stormblood.

Though, as said, this is only speaking in terms of the base expansions, the only comparison I can make. Because the patch content did amazing narrative things for both Heavensward and Stormblood in particular in my eyes.

(I actually have no idea what to expect from the Dawntrail patches. Which is, once more, both super exciting and scary because the threads left behind are pretty much a complete mystery.)

So in a general sense, I'm an early Dawntrail defender. I enjoyed it a lot. It truly felt special as my very first on-content expansion, too.

Now on to the optional dungeons!

(Have heard some great impressons on them!)

[isagrimorie]

Agatha All Along - 9

Vidarkness - 5, 6 and 15.

Alice Wu Gulliver - 2

For the fandom ask game:

Show: Agatha All Along

9. which characters I think should have interacted more in canon.

I wish more characters interacted with Rio. I wanted to see how Jen would react more to Rio as she vacillated in the Hot/Crazy scale. Rio and Alice interacting more would make the scene in episode 8 more poignant.

Rio hinting Lilia that she knows her and used to be friendly would also be so much fun.

Talking more with Alice and Agatha would also be good since, post-episode 4 and with the context of the Ballad, I feel Agatha would, against her better judgment, feel something for Alice. It would make what happened with Alice feel sharper for Agatha.

Ship: Vidarkness

5. the three most perfect OTP tags that I can come up with for them.

I think: Vidarkness is really cool tag for them because Vida (Life) + Darkness sums up both ship and who Rio is and who Rio and Agatha are to each other.

"It's Black and Beats for You." - Death is a hopeless romantic.

"My Scar." - Seriously, Death has a way with words.

6. what kind of AU fics I'm obsessed with reading about them (or would be if I could find one).

I am very into the Agnes of Westview AU. I could have gone on for 2 more episodes of Agnes finding out something weird about the very normal town she's living in.

Not an AU but I would love some historical swashbuckling romance between Death and Agatha. I know their relationship broke up but it seemed like they kept in contact until Agatha took the Darkhold (which might have been during the 90s).

Modern Divorce AU, where Agatha is a Sophie Deveraux-style con artist, and Rio gets Nicky in the divorce.

15. how I wish their story would go/would have gone.

I'm actually happy with how it's gone, I do wish we got to see more of their happy times before their break-up. And I would also want to see Rio's expression when she realized rather than crossover Agatha figured out how to be a ghost.

Character: Alice Wu Gulliver

2. how I would have chosen to change their story from canon.

While I do respect they really wanted the themes of death and its weight...

I WOULD HAVE CHOSEN FOR ALICE TO LIVE.

That's the only change, Rio will appear to Alice, and tell her: "It's not your time. But I'll be seeing you, Alice. "

And she's ejected out of the Road where Jen, who is climbing out of the Road finds Alice.

The end!